The many loves of Usagi and Mamoru
by Jezebella
Summary: A good read if you like romance! U+M are married, but then something (or someone!) unexpected comes up! Between unexpected romantic rivals and silly trouble with old villains, will Usagi and Mamoru ever get back together? Completed, and partially revised.
1. What went wrong at the wedding

UM1  
  


Welcome to a Sailor Moon romance story that combines the humor and silliness with the drama of the melodramatic. This was originally written in January, 2002 and revised by me on March 16, 2003.

******

Right after Usagi and Mamoru's wedding

*****

"We're finally married Mamoru! I just can't believe it!" Usagi exclaimed

"Yeah! Isn't it great? Now no one would mind when we kiss in public!" Mamoru grinned sheepishly.

Usagi blushed, embarrassed. "Yeah they will. I'm 22 and you're 27. We'll look too young to be married, anyway."

Mamoru blushed also. "I guess so..."

Usagi was helping herself to the yummy deserts. The reception was almost over, and most everyone was gone, so no one could see her pig out. Suddenly she saw someone walking away looking sad. It was Seiya. "Seiya!" Usagi exclaimed. "I didn't know that you came too!"

He looked around and smiled sadly "Hello Odango." Usagi stopped smiling. She noticed that his eyes were red.

"Seiya, is something wrong?" In her heart she already knew what it was. "No, not really, its just that..."

Seiya paused, as if hesitating to say something important. He suddenly put his hands on her shoulders and started to blurt out what he was trying to say. "Oh, Odango... Why did you have to pick him? Why not me?" Usagi gasped. He had never said it that up front, at least not to her. Of course, everyone else had known this for a long time, but Usagi had never imagined he wanted to be more than friends. "Seiya. . ."

He continued, before she would stop him or he would stop himself. "I love you with all my heart and soul! I've always adored you, and I would do anything for you! And you are just together with that Mamoru because its your "destiny"! Before you knew that he didn't love you! He didn't even like you! But now that you know that changes everything, doesn't it?! Doesn't it!"

Usagi was surprised as she realized that it was true. Before all this happened, they hadn't looked twice at one another. She had never thought of it that way before. "Shouldn't your heart matter more than what was written for you? Are you just going to be a marionette, playing the part that you were set out to play?"

Usagi thought to herself 'Playing the part I was set out to play... That does seem to be what I'm doing... but I'm happy with Mamoru.'

She turned to Seiya. "I'm sorry Seiya. I'm sorry to break your heart, but I love Mamoru. I'm happy with him. You're... well..." She was going to say 'my good friend' but instead she found herself staring at his face, so sad, yet beautiful. She had never really realized it, but he was.

"So beautiful..." she murmured. Seiya blushed and so did Usagi when she realized she had said it aloud. He sighed. "Usagi, I don't want to get in your way. If you're happy with Mamoru then I'll leave you two alone."He started to walk away. Usagi dashed after him, "Wait, Seiya!" she called. When he turned around she took his hand. She paused, not knowing what to say. She looked into his sad face again.

"Seiya, I can't bear to see you so sad. Is there anything I could do to make it better?" He looked at her longingly. "Anything, for you to feel better!" she repeated. "Anything?" He asked. She nodded "Anything, Seiya! Just as long as it makes you be less sad."

He sighed, and put his arm on her shoulder. He looked pleadingly into her eyes. "Just one.... kiss?" Usagi's eyes widened, but she nodded. She had said anything.

She felt his lips press against hers. It was much different then when she kissed Mamoru, but not in a bad way. It felt pretty good. She had worried if it would feel awkward or strange, but it wasn't. For some reason, Usagi liked kissing him. They stayed together for a long time until she finally pulled away.

"Seiya I have to go. She looked at him again. His face no longer looked sad. Seiya slowly nodded. "Alright, Odango."

Usagi went through the doors, back into the reception hall. Suddenly, as if out of no where, Mamoru was standing in front of her, blocking her path. He was looking at her with a face mixed with astonishment and sadness and defeat all mixed into one. Usagi knew without even asking that he had seen

"Mamo-chan, I can explain... I-" He cut her off. "I don't need explanations," he said angrily. Suddenly his mood changed to sadness and he sat down on a bench with his head between his hands. Usagi sat down beside him and put her arm around him. He looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Why, Usako, why? Did I do something wrong? Have I been bad to you?"

"No, of course not." Usagi said "You're the one I love. I would never do anything to hurt you." He just stared, so Usagi reassured him with a hug.

"Do you mean it....?" he said shakily "Of course I do.", she replied.

"Then why did..." He looked into her eyes. "Usako!" He took hold of both her hands. "Promise me you will never see him again. Never!" She gasped. "But I..." She stopped when she saw the look in his eyes. "If you really mean what you say, Usako." He looked down sadly. "I just don't want him to come between us again." Usagi looked sadly into his eyes. "Alright, Mamo-chan." He smiled. "Thank you Usako." They hugged each other, and all was forgiven.  
  


But not for long.  
  


Uh oh. What's going to happen next?


	2. And he's off!

UM2

  
  


Originally written sometime between Jan 2002 and Mar 2002. Revised on March 16, 2003, once again, by me.  


A few weeks later....  


Seiya looked up at Usagi's balcony window longingly. There was a faint light glowing in the window, so he knew that she was in there. He was about to call out, but then decided against it. He had found out that Mamoru didn't want Usagi and him to see each other anymore, and Seiya didn't want to get her in trouble. Still... She was his only love, and the last few weeks had been hard on him, not being able to see her anymore... especially after that..... he secretly hoped to himself that she would come out onto her balcony and see him... just a glimpse maybe...

Usagi was inside, brushing her hair. She looked into the mirror, at her reflection. In the background she could hear the water running as Mamoru took a shower. She thought about Seiya, and how he had kissed her so sweetly and lovingly that night... but no. 'I'm a married woman' she thought to herself, 'and an affair is hardly what I want my happy marriage to start off with. What was I thinking, kissing Seiya on my wedding day.' she reasoned to herself. 'We're friends. Nothing more.'

Dropping the subject, she wandered out onto the balcony to get some fresh air before she went to sleep. She was very surprised to see Seiya standing there, in her garden. She gasped, and whispered down. "Seiya! What are you doing?! Do you want Mamoru to see you?! Get out before you get in trouble!"

Seiya smiled sweetly, secretly relieved that she had seen him, and sneaking past all that anti-assassination security had not been in vain. "Odango!" he called gently up "Come down here so I can talk to you!"

Usagi gasped. Seiya knew that she was forbidden to see him, but she had wanted to see him for a while... "Alright, Seiya." She softly called down. Being care ful to be quiet, she tiptoed to the stairs and walked out into the garden. Seiya was there, and he grinned at her sweetly. "Hello Odango! Its been so long since I've seen you!"Usagi returned the smiled and softly whispered, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

He paused. Seiya had thought about what to say before this, but all words fled form his mind when he heard her beautiful voice. Words failing him, he put his hands on her shoulders, and began "Um... Odango..." She looked up at him with those big blue eyes of hers "Yes, Seiya?" He blushed. "I... um... want to tell you something..." She stared at him. He continued.

"I thought maybe after I knew you were happy, I could leave you in peace and forget about it..." Usagi looked down. 'Back to this subject again...' she thought. Seiya closed his eyes "But now I know that I could never forsake you. I could never forget about my eternal love for you, my little Odango..." Usagi gasped. The way he talked about her... about his love for her... made her heart feel like it was torn in two. True... she loved Mamoru...But Seiya was different. In a good, maybe even better way. Usagi didn't want to think about it, though. She was with Mamoru and nothing could change that.

She looked up at Seiya. He looked down at her. They stayed like that for quite some time. Usagi looked up into his beautiful eyes. There was that word again, beautiful, which he was. She suddenly wondered what it would be like to kiss those soft lips again... She felt her eyes close subconsciously...

Suddenly she felt those lips press against hers. Her eyes opened wide and pulled away. Seiya gasped and blushed, saying "I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me... I-" but Usagi pressed her lips against his and he stopped talking. She sighed as Seiya's arms gently folded around her. She kissed him back, like she kissed Mamoru, only better. Mamoru.... the name didn't cause any guilt from her... not now.

Finally Seiya broke off the kiss. Usagi looked at him, then suddenly started blushing like crazy. "Seiya... I... I don't know what to say... I..." He looked back up at the balcony. "Did you just hear a door close?"Usagi gasped. "Mamoru!?" She raced back up the stairs. He was no longer there. "Mamoru!!" She called as she ran back down. He was not in the house. The front door was open.

Usagi could see a dark figure walking away, down the street. It was Mamoru. "Mamoru, wait!! Please come back!" He took no notice of her. She started to run after him but fell to the side walk. She called after him repetitively, "Mamoru! Mamoru!!" She sat there sobbing on the sidewalk, as it started to rain her tears mixed in with the drops. Seiya watched her sadly, and comforted with a hug. She didn't hug back this time, but continued to cry her heart out, until there was none left...

  
  


Hm.... where's this going? Sorry about the sad Usagi and Mamoru-ness right now. They will get better! Next chapter: SOMEONE will COMFORT Mamoru. But who? Three guesses: someone with long black hair, who has had her purple-black eyes on Mamoru for quite a long time, and owns a shrine.


	3. I will survive!

UM3

One more chapter written in Jan-Feb 2002, and revised on March 16, 2003. I have too much time on my hands today.

*****

Mamoru walked until he was out of sight of the house. He sank to his feet and leaned against the wall, sobbing. Why? Why had she done this? He hadn't done anything wrong, had he? Damn that Seiya. This was all his fault. Still, she looked so happy with him, and he with her. He sighed. He just wanted Usagi to be happy. And if it was with Seiya... well... it was ok with him.

Who was he kidding?

*****

After kicking numerous trash cans, recycling dumpsters, mailboxes, and car bumpers, Mamoru was feeling a little better

He slowly got up and leaned against the wall. Brushing the tears from his eyes, and the bruises from his toe from kicking a bulletproof fire hydrant, he walked in the direction of Rei's temple

  
  


Ooh.... we can see where this is leading...... if you didn't get the hint last chapter, you better now!

  
  


He knocked at the temple door, wondering again what he was doing here. 'I need to talk to someone. Rei's a friend. I can talk to her' he deliberated, finding a reason why he subconsciously came here opposed to anywhere else.

Rei answered the door, and greeted him with a cheery smile. "Hi Mamoru! What are you doing here so late at night? Where's Usagi?"

Mamoru smiled weakly at her, trying to look like he had not been crying. "Hello Rei. About Usagi... I was wondering if...well... we had a fight" he stammered, making up an excuse. "I don't mean to impose or anything but... could you let me stay the night here? I don't really..." he trailed off, watching to see what Rei would say.

Rei gasped happily, but decided to play hard to get. "Gee, Mamoru, I'd love you to stay here, but... I don't know...." He looked into her eyes. "Please, Rei?" She softened. "Alright, Mamoru, but tell me... What happened to Usagi?"

He sat down on the couch. Rei looked concerned and sat down next to him. He put his head in his hands and sighed. He explained what had happened to Rei, and as she sympathized with him, she put her arm around him. "Don't worry, Mamoru. Everything will be alright."

She paused, and then put both her arms around him in a hug. He hugged her back like a friend. Rei smiled and closed her eyes, lost in the moment. Then she put her hands around Mamoru's head and kissed him full on the lips. His eyes popped wide open, not believing what had just happened. Rei had kissed him. She was kissing him. He wasn't even trying to stop her. Mamoru thought he saw a flash of gold out the window, but then there was nothing there except the trees blowing in the cool night breeze.

He mentally kicked himself. 'What am I doing? This is as bad as what Usagi and Seiya...' Then he rationalized some thing with himself, and made some loop holes to the "Mamoru guide to romance and relationships". 'Usagi likes Seiya, Seiya likes her back. Rei likes me, and I....' He didn't know what to think. True, Rei was much more pretty than Usagi, and she had a job and a house. Usagi depended on his meager income to do anything, and spent all her time reading shoujo manga and watching TV. Mamoru sighed. It would be nice to stay here, with Rei. There was nothing wrong with it. Everything was right about it. Closing the matter, he accounted for his infidelity, and cleared his conscience.

Rei sighed. "Mamoru... you can stay with me as long as you want. I would never leave or betray you, like..." Rei let the sentence drop, as she stood up. "I've been meaning to tell you something for a long time, Mamoru..." She paused. "I've been secretly love with you for a long time..." She looked up into his face hopefully. When she saw its blank face she hastily added "I mean... I don't really know if you like me... It doesn't really matter, but..."

She stopped when she felt Mamoru's arms around her. When he sat back up he asked "Is that true?" She blushed, and nodded. Mamoru smiled. "Then I won't leave you either.

Rei was so happy she flung her arms around him and cried "Oh Mamoru! Really!?" He smiled, "Really." abandoning all thoughts of Usagi from his mind.

*****

Alright, now the "Many Loves" part of the title kicks into action! What else will happen when Usagi (inevitably) finds out of her two-timing being matched by a night spent at Rei's house? (For now, let's say they didn't put the french fry into the happy meal) Also: F the Freedom Fry. Wagga. No place for political views, sorry! :o


	4. Keep on surviving!

Chapter 4  
  
Note: I don't own destiny's child or their songs.  
  
Usagi cried for a long time in Seiya's arms, then suddenly realized what she was  
doing and pulled away. "What am I doing?!" She shakily stood. "I... I have to go after  
him!" Seiya looked surprised and saddened. "O... Odango...." he paused, then shook his  
head. "If that's what you want to do I won't stop you."  
She sighed. "Seiya... you're so sweet..." She found herself putting her arms around  
him. "I'm sorry. This is just something I have to do." She turned around. "Don't wait up  
for me. I'll be fine. Seiya's heart ached when he heard that, but he didn't object, just  
nodded. Usagi walked slowly off in the direction Mamoru had left in.  
She sighed. He had been gone a long time now. Usagi checked her watch. Over an  
hour. It was getting late out. She continued walking. She subconsciously walked in the  
direction of... no. 'He wouldn't have gone there' she reasoned with herself. 'Not there,  
not with... her.' The memory of the last time he was there still pained her mind and heart  
when she thought about it. 'Not there. Anywhere but with... Rei.'  
Still, she walked there, not knowing why. 'Just to make sure. No harm in  
checking...' Her heart sank lower with each step. It hurt her that she wouldn't trust  
Mamoru not to see other women... but how could he trust her, now that he had witnessed  
Usagi, not once, but twice voluntarily kissing Seiya...  
Usagi was there. She breathed in deeply and walked up the steps to Rei's temple.  
She stood at the door without knocking, wondering if she should. Usagi decided not to  
make a fool of herself, so she didn't. She thought she heard a noise, so she walked over to  
the window to see what it was.  
  
Wonder what that 'flash of gold' that Mamoru saw was last chapter? Now find out.  
  
She peeked in the window and to her surprise she saw...  
  
Take a guess, anyone! Take a guess....  
  
There, on the couch were Rei and Mamoru, in each other's arms. Rei kissed him  
the, and he kissed back, and they looked so happy, and so good together that she had to  
look away.  
Usagi stepped down form the window with tears in her eyes. She leaned against  
the wall and put her head in her hands. "Mamoru..." she whispered to herself. "Did you  
really love her...? We could've apologized and made up... did I lose your trust? Did I...  
oh..." She curled up her legs and whimpered some more. Then she shakily stood up.  
"Well... no use crying over spilled milk... must move on..." she mumbled. She  
walked a little bit and out onto the street. "There are some good points to this too... I can  
go out on dates again... flirt with the guys at the ice cream place... stop hiding my manga  
behind the fridge... aw yeah!" She felt better already and started smiling. She spoke out  
loud to herself this time. "This is going to be all right, Usagi. Everything's going to be  
ok." She stopped walking and spoke up louder. "I don't need Mamoru to live I will  
survive!!" She stepped up onto a box on the side walk and yelled "HEAR THAT,  
WORLD?! I AM NOW AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN!!!! SPELL IT OUT, I-N-D-E-P-  
E-N-D-E-N-T!!!!" She then started singing Independent women part 1, by Destiny's  
child.  
  
Ok, this was originally supposed to be a very serious story, but it got too serious.  
  
Minako was walking up the sidewalk when she saw Usagi dancing and singing her  
heart out. "Usagi..." she said tentatively "are you alright...?" Usagi discreetly quieted her.  
"SHUT UP MINAKO! I'M GETTING TO THE CHORUS!" She turned back to her  
staring audience. "THE SHOES ON MY FEET- I BOUGHT IT! THE CLOTHES I'M  
WEARING- I BOUGHT IT! THE ROCK I'M ROCKING- I BOUGHT IT! 'CAUSE I  
DEPEND ON ME, IF I WANT IT!" One of those huge, magical sweat bubbles appeared  
on the back of Minako's head. She stared at it, and ran her hand over it. "Weird..."  
Meanwhile, Usagi was still singing. "ALL THE WOMEN WHO INDEPENDENT  
THROW YOUR HANDS UP AT ME! ALL THE HONEYS WHO MAKIN' MONEY  
THROW YOUR HANDS UP AT ME! ALL THE MOMMAS WHO PROFIT  
DOLLARS THROW YOUR HANDS UP AT ME! ALL THE LADIES WHO TRULY--"  
Minako hit Usagi in the head with the magical sweat bubble. "USAGI!! WHAT ARE  
YOU DOING? AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY 'INDEPENDENT'?!" Usagi winced.  
"Minako... do you have to yell so loud?" One of those magical PO-ed marks appeared on  
Minako's fore head. *:(   
"You're the one who should talk about yelling!" Usagi smiled. "Well now, I'm an  
INDEPENDENT WOMAN! Sing with me now!" Minako smiled and joined in.  
"QUESTION: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME! I BUY MY OWN  
DIAMONDS AND I BUY MY OWN RINGS! ONLY RING YOUR CELLY WHEN  
I'M FEELING LONELY! WHEN IT'S ALL OVER PLEASE GET UP AND LEAVE!"  
They sang the song several times before Minako came to her senses.  
"Usagi! What do you mean, you're independent? What happened to Mamoru?"  
Usagi smiled "Him? I don't need that six dollar-an-hour slob anymore! I"m  
INDEPENDENT!" (The song had really brought up her confidence) Minako sighed, and  
another one of those magical sweat bubbles appeared. "Just tell me Usagi... what  
happened?"  
Usagi gasped and then started her crybaby-routine with the magical tears flowing  
out of her eyes straight upwards. "I.(sob)...was with Seiya...(sob)... And he...(sob).. was  
with Rei...(sob)... then I left...(sob)....Seiya.(sob)....and Mamoru left me...(sob)....with  
a...(sob)...." Minako leaned in sympathetically. "FULL BANK ACCOUNT!!! IT'S ALL  
MINE!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!" She started singing again. "ALL THE WOMEN WHO  
INDEPENDENT THROW YOUR HANDS UP AT ME!" before Minako whacked her in  
the head with her magical sweat bubble. "Usagi! You're so immature! You're going to  
stay at my house tonight so I can make sure you don't take all of Mamoru's money."  
Usagi started crying again. "Nooo-oooo! I wanna spend that jerk's money! On...  
MANGA!!!" Minako sighed. "Come on... let's go." 


	5. To be an effective independent woman you...

Usagi was all curled up on the couch with tears in her eyes. She whispered  
"Mamoru... why did you have to leave me... with a full bank account... and no credit  
cards....?" Minako sighed. "Get over it, Usagi! What about all those 'Independent' things  
you were saying before?" Usagi sighed. "None of that matters now... he left. I must face  
the fact. He no longer cares for me... or my well being." Minako stared at her. "What  
makes you think that, Usagi?" She sighed. "He didn't leave me any money." Minako  
sighed. "We're not back to those manga again, are we?" Usagi shook her head. "For food.  
He knows I don't have a job. Being an Independent Woman without a job isn't so nice."  
Suddenly Usagi sat up. She had an idea. "I have an idea, Minako!" Minako rolled  
her eyes. "What now, Usagi?" Usagi jumped up and down. "We'll get jobs! Wouldn't that  
be exciting, Minako?! We'll be real Independent Women!" Minako smiled. "That is a  
good idea, Usagi! I don't have a job and this can help me get out of the 10,000 I owe!"  
AT that they both get magical sweat bubbles. "Well, did you ever wonder how I lived on  
my own without a job paying rent and bills?" Usagi sighed. "Anyway... LETS GO!!"  
They both ran out the door, bounced down the hall, hopped in the elevator, skipped  
up the street, and looked at the stores for one they might want to work at. After a while  
they made up their minds. "The manga shop!" "The ice cream parlor!" they shouted  
simultaneously. They stared at each other menacingly.  
"The manga shop!"  
"The ice cream parlor!"  
"The manga shop!"  
"The ice cream parlor!"  
"The manga shop!"  
They resumed glaring, and then decided to settle it once and for all with a staring contest.  
  
"NO!!!!" Minako yelled as Usagi won "Now I'll have to work at a crummy manga shop  
with no cute guys to flirt with!" Usagi remembered that. "Oh yeah, there are always cute  
guys at the Ice cream parlor..." Minako's eyes got incredibly big, hoping that Usagi would  
change her mind.  
"But what's the point of flirting with guys you're never going to get when you can  
READ about cute guys forever!" One of those big, magical boulders fell on Minako's  
head. She considered the subject, and found it to be ok. "Fine Usagi, have it your way.  
We work in the manga shop." Usagi jumped up and down "Yay!" Minako smiled.  
"You're forgetting something! We don't know if they have any jobs available!"  
Usagi gasped, and sank down. "Ok, lets check, then. She pranced into the shop,  
with Minako following reluctantly behind. There was an old man at the counter. "May I  
help you?" Usagi enthusiastically cried "Yes! We're looking for a job! Are there any  
here?" The man adjusted his glasses, and looked at a clipboard. "Well lets see... do you  
have any experience?" "No..." "References?" "No..." "Talent at selling things?" "No..."  
He smiled. "You're hired!" They gave each other high fives. "Let's introduce you to  
you're new co workers! Come on, you!" The man led out someone, and both Usagi and  
Minako gasped at the sight of him. 


	6. Taiki kills himself And Usagi's manga

Chapter six  
  


Minako gasped at the person who appeared in the doorway. "T... Taiki?! I thought you were working at the Ice cream parlor!" He smiled. "Minako... hi! I decided to work here instead because they have NEON GENESIS EVANGELION!!! The ice cream parlor I used to work at wouldn't make it a flavor. It wasn't catchy enough. Don't you disagree?" Minako's eyes turned into little hearts. "Uh-huh.... I love Neon Genesis Evangelion too...."  
  


Usagi got one of those P.O. ed marks on her head. "Minako... what do you mean by 'you thought he was working at the ice cream parlor....?'" Minako blushed and said embarrassedly "Nothing! That's just where I thought he worked!" Usagi raised her eye brows. "Where you wanted to flirt with all the cu--" Minako slapped her hand over Usagi's mouth "Usagi..." she whispered angrily, then went all nice and stuff. "Usagi... you picked out a wonderful store to work at... thank you..." Usagi turned blue with fright while Minako started batting her eyelashes at Taiki.  
  


"Minako... are you felling alright?" Usagi whimpered. Minako ignored her and blushed when Taiki stared at her concernedly. "What's wrong Minako?" he asked. Minako sat there for a few seconds before she noticed that he was talking to her, and then started giggling very high pitched-like.  
  


"T...Tai...Taiki... I'm just fine, thank you...!" Taiki raised his eyebrows. "O-Kay...." he said cautiously. "Well, I'm supposed to show new workers around, so... come on!" Usagi followed diligently while Minako floated in the air above Taiki's head, spinning around in circles. "Welcome to..." Taiki noticed Minako. He stared. "What's she on?" he whispered to Usagi. "Bubble gum." she whispered back. He suddenly noticed the curious, toxic yet sugary scent slowly filling the room. "NOOOOOO! Everyone outside!" Taiki called "Before it gets us!" Everyone ran outside before they could die from poisoning by second-hand bubble gum smell, except for Minako, who bounced out the window.  
  


"WOO-HOOO! WATERMELON BUBBLE GUM!" She bounced some more before she fell asleep on the sidewalk." Big sweat bubbles appeared on everyone's head, and Taiki said to the little kiddies watching "Second-hand bubble gum scent is almost as bad as directly chewing it. You can get bouncy... or giggly... or even..." "Taiki! Don't scare them!" Usagi cried. Taiki shrugged. "I'm just trying to get them to learn from Minako's bad example." "LEARN?!" The kiddies cried. They immediately dashed off, before he could teach them anymore.  
  


After the decontaminate-ers disinfected the shop, Usagi, Taiki, the shopkeeper, and Minako (now sober) returned. Taiki resumed his speech. "Well... after that little break, welcome to the..." Minako's eyes popped out of her head as little red hearts. "Ooh... Taiki... the way you talk is so romantic...!" Taiki sighed, and whispered to Usagi "What's she on now?" Usagi shook her head. "Nothing. She's always this hyper around cute guys." Taiki rolled his eyes. "Whatever.... now lets start working! I'll teach you." He held up a comic book. "This is a comic book." Usagi's eyes turned into little red hearts, and grabbed it. "A manga!!!!" She started prancing around like Minako was. "Laa laa laa!" they sang  
  
  
  


Taiki got on of those big sweat bubbles on his head. "Right... so..." He turned to the shop owner. "Can I fire them?" He shook his head. "Sorry, but we need the help. They're the only people crazy enough to apply for this stupid job." "But we have to get them to behave!" Taiki shouted. He decided then and there what he must do.  
  


Minako and Usagi were still going wacky all over Taiki and the manga, when suddenly Taiki grabbed then manga from Usagi's hand, and all the other manga in the store. "It is a far, far better thing than I have ever done before!" He stepped into the door way. "I do this for your own good! Goodbye!" He called as he raced out into the street. Usagi and Minako stared, now sane from lack of manga and Taiki. "No, Taiki, don't!" yelled Minako. She was too late. A car came up and ran over Taiki and the manga, who both now lay motionless in the middle of the street.  
  


"NOOOOOO!!!!! TAIKI!!!!!" Minako yelled and ran over to him. He lay there motionless, barely breathing. "NOOOOOO!!!!! MANGA!!!!!" Usagi yelled and ran over to where they lay, with tire prints on them. "How could this happen! How could this happen!" they yelled together. The man driving the car stopped, and turned around. They got a good look at it, and the driver stuck his head out the window. It was a fisher price car made of plastic. "Thossse high ssschool kidses should watch where they goingsss, my preciousssss..." the driver who they could not see yelled out the window before he sped off.  
  


Minako and Usagi watched. "That was weird...." Usagi said. Minako was calling an ambulance for Taiki and the manga. "Does the manga want a private room?" she asked Usagi. "Of course! My little manga babies want their privacy!" She was patting each of the manga's heads, as they had ugly fisher price logos on them now. "Minako frowned. "Taiki, can you pay the hospital bill for the manga?" He tried to shake his head but failed. "N... n... nn..." he attempted to speak. "Yes?! Oh, Taiki, you're such a sweetie! Let me give you a hug!" She tried to put her arms around him as he vainly tried to escape. "Aiyaaaaaaa!" he screamed as Minako squeezed him, breaking a few bones.  
  


Next part I'll get back to Rei and Mamoru's ordeal

Sorry about the freaky paragraphing


	7. Rei makes Kool aid©

Chapter seven  
  


Note: This isn't going to end for a long time, so I won't bother to write 'To be continued' or anything. I already have the first 15 chapters written in my head.  
  


When Mamoru woke up he looked around and asked himself 'Where am I?' He remembered what had happened last night, and looked next to him. There, next to him in bed was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Her shimmering black hair and beautiful face, they took him by surprise, and it took him a few moments to recognize who it was. When he did, he gasped and cried out...  
  


"Alright, who's been leaving copies of Ranma ½ on the bed!?!" Rei yawned and looked over from the other side of the room where she had been sleeping and said "Sorry Mamo-chan." A pang of guilt hit Mamoru. That was what his dear Usako had used to call him. Oh well, she's gone. "It's all right, Rei-chan." She frowned and exclaimed "Who're you to be calling me 'Rei-chan'?!" He smiled at her. "Who're you to be calling me 'Mamo-chan'!" They looked at each other, trying to suppress giggles, then they hugged each other.  
  


Mamoru suddenly felt very hungry. "Rei-chan... what's for breakfast?" Rei blushed and said "Well... do you know how to cook? I don't. The only things I can make without making it horrible are instant pancakes, instant pudding, and Kool aid©." Mamoru shrugged. "That doesn't matter. As long as you made it, it can't taste horrible. Rei gasped. "Really?" Mamoru nodded. "Really really." She hugged him and her eyes went all big and watery. "Thank you Mamoru! I'll go make a souffle! And maybe some sushi! And cheese!" Mamoru got a big sweat bubble on the back of his head. "Cheese?" She nodded. "Cheese! It goes very well with champagne! Did I mention that I'm going to get some champagne? To celebrate this historical occasion!" "Champagne?! It's 8:00 in the morning!" Rei sighed. "OK, maybe not champagne. How about some espresso?!"  
  


A few hours later...  
  


Rei came out of the kitchen and called Mamoru. "Mamo-chan! Breakfast... I mean lunch... is served!" Mamoru ran in. "YAY! YAY! YAY!" He was starving. She set out the plates. "Here you go, you hungry little thing!" Mamoru dug into the food until he realized that it tasted... "Horrible!" he cried out. Rei looked very hurt. "I thought you said that if I made it, then it couldn't taste bad...?" He managed to choke down the food in his mouth. "I... uh... um... Rei-chan... It's nothing personal...!" She sobbed into her hands. "I'm a horrible cook! I knew it! I knew it!"  
  


Mamoru smiled shakily. "It's all right, Rei-chan! If you want, I can cook breakfast... I mean lunch... for us!" She glared at him. "No. I'm going to cook us breakfast... I mean lunch... for us." She walked to the door. "I'm going to go buy some pancake mix, and pudding mix, and Kool aid© mix! Then I'll be a good cook!" Mamoru smiled sweetly. "No, Rei-chan, I'll make it, I know how to cook..." She yelled at him "I'm cooking and that's that!" She slammed the door behind her and walked out onto the sidewalk. Then she walked back inside. "I forgot my money." she said quietly, and got it and left.  
  


Mamoru sighed, and opened the pantry. "Well... I better get started, unless I want to live on instant pancakes, instant pudding, and Kool aid©."  
  
  
  
  
  


Sorry it's so short, Minna!!


	8. Akane's cooking skills

Chapter 8  
  
Rei walked down the street with her purse hanging on her arm. 'I don't think  
Mamoru likes instant pancakes, pudding, and Kool aid©, so I'm going to go get some  
lessons from someone who knows how to cook, so he'll like what I cook.' She walked up  
to the door of the Tendo Dojo and knocked at the door. Kasumi answered the door. "Oh,  
hello there!" Rei bowed. "Hello. I'm here to ask the cooking master of this house to give  
me lessons! If it's alright with her." Kasumi said "Oh, sure I'd love to tea---" Akane ran  
to the door. "If you're looking for cooking lessons, I'll teach you!" Rei smiled. "Oh,  
thank you, cooking master!"  
  
Note: For all those people who don't read Ranma ½, Akane is the worst cook in the  
world.  
  
Akane brought Rei into her room. "Welcome to Akane's cooking classes! Lets  
start by learning how to make something easy... like... CHOCOLATE!" "YAY!" Akane  
continued. "Let's sing the chocolate song now!"  
  
Salt, pepper, and marmalade! Dump them in a pot!  
That is how you make chocolate!  
  
She did that, and to Rei's surprised, it looked sort of orangish  
  
Raisins, walnuts, and tea bags! Mix them in a bowl!  
Watch me make chocolate!  
  
Akane put them in the bowl, and it looked purplish  
  
Bread crumbs, lettuce leaves, corn! Mix them all together... Yum!  
That is how you make CHOCOLATE!!!  
  
Rei blinked. "That's how you make chocolate?!" Akane nodded. Rei sighed. "Oh  
well, you're the cooking master..." She picked up the box of chocolate and took a bite.  
Her eyebrows sprang straight up, and her mouth turned into a pucker face. : "Eww!"  
She ran away from the chocolate to the other side of the room. "That's disgusting!!!" She  
ran out of the house while Akane examined her recipe. "I was sure I had it right this  
time..."  
  
Mean while, while Rei was running away, she bumped into a girl walking in the  
other direction. "U... Usagi?!" she gasped. Usagi gasped too, then glared at Rei. "Rei!  
Bachiatari subeta! What were you doing last night with my Mamo-chan?!" Rei's  
eyebrows went up, and muttered. "Usagi... I've just been through an unimaginable horror.  
Please leave me alone."  
  
Usagi raised one eyebrow. A horrible thought came through her head. "Rei... did it  
have something to do with.... Mamoru?" She sighed, looked down, and nodded. Usagi  
screamed. "What... were you two... doing....?!" Rei shook her head. "I can't tell you."  
Usagi frowned. "Were you holding hands? Hugging? Or maybe even....." Rei shook her  
head, and blushed a little. "None of that."Usagi frowned again, then got very mad. "Well,  
then I'm not going to play dumb anymore. I know your secret! So..." She ran off down the  
side walk, and yelled back "I'm not forgiving you, Rei! You bachiatari slut!"Usagi gave  
her the finger. "Mamoru will always love me! And that's that!" Rei looked at her as she  
left. "Weird... Oh well, better go get my pancake mix and pudding mix and Kool aid©  
mix."  
  
When Rei returned it was dinnertime. Mamoru greeted her with a smile. "Hello,  
Rei-chan! I made dinner!" She looked over onto the table, where heaping plates of  
gourmet steak, sushi, and champagne. "Mamo-chan... I told you I would make lunch... I  
mean dinner..." He shrugged. "Well... to tell you the truth... I hate pancakes and pudding  
and Kool aid©, so I whipped up some stuff that I might want to eat instead!" Rei was  
seriously P.O.-ed right now, so she decided to show him what she learned today. "Guess  
what Mamo-chan... I learned how to cook something new today... CHOCOLATE...!" He  
smiled naively. "Wow! Sounds great, Rei-chan!" She smiled wickedly. "Ooh... it is..." she  
started singing... "Salt, pepper, and marmalade! Dump them in a pot..."  
  
When she was done, Rei picked up the chocolates and handed them to Mamoru.  
"Here you go, Mamo-chan! Eat up!" He hungrily scarfed down half the box. : His  
mouth went all puckerish, and he screamed out "Aiyaa! My stomach! My stomach!" Rei  
laughed silently. "You deserve it, for cooking lunch... I mean dinner... when I said not  
to." He managed to stand up. "Rei... chan... Doshite suru ka....?" She frowned. "I just told  
you why." Mamoru struggled up, and picked up the box of chocolate. "You.... will....  
pay...!!" She back away slowly. "Wait... Mamo-chan... What are you going to do...?"  
  
  
"AIYAAAAAAA!!!"  
  
Isn't that nice, two chapters in one day. I got to stay home today because I have a fever.  
So I'm typing to take my mind of my burning head and freezing body. Please review... I  
might get better then... 


	9. Gollum the matchmaker

Sorry about the freaky paragraphing and small writing, I use WordPerfect, not word, so I have to save mine as html documents, and I can't get it to change the size! Saving them as text makes the margin real big on one side, so sorry to bother you all with my dilemma!

  
  


If no one has seen or read The Lord of the Rings, then you won't know who this 'precious' person is.

  
  


Chapter 9

  
  
  
  


Usagi leaned against the wall with tears in her eyes. She spoke to herself "Mamoru... why Rei..? What did I do? I loved you, you loved me, what went wrong...?" He short meeting with Rei had awakened painful memories that for the last few days she had been trying to suppress. "Mamo-chan... but what about Seiya?" Her eyes turned from blue to a pale greenish color. "He is my one.... my only... my preciousssss.....!" Usagi gasped, and put her hand over her mouth. "What did I just say?"

  
  


Seiya lay curled up on the sofa in the apartment Taiki, Yaten, and he shared. The afternoon sun shone in through the window. He cried into the palms of his hands. "Usagi... why Mamoru...? What did I do? I loved you so much, what went wrong...? Didn't you love me too?" He sighed, and walked over to his bed. "Was that it? Did I ruin it for you and Mamoru, so now you hate me? You wouldn't, would you...?" He pulled the covers up over his head. "I would love to spend my life with you, Usagi-chan..." he murmured to himself, before falling asleep for an afternoon nap. He was awoken much later by a noise outside his window, on the balcony. It was a figure... male or female? It came closer. He couldn't tell, it was so hunched over. It walked over to his bed. "Sssseiya..." it whispered in its hissing way. Seiya felt a pang of fear in his heart. "Who are you?" It said nothing, but threw something in the air that did not come down. Seiya couldn't see what it was. The figure climbed down off the balcony... on the wall?!! Seiya could not understood how he did that, but didn't stop to ponder about it. Instead his thoughts turned back to Usagi. "Usagi... my one... my only... my preciousssss!!!" Seiya raised his eyebrows. "Did I just say... 'precious'?!"

  
  


Usagi stood up. One thought regned in her mind. "Seiya... must go to Seiya...."

  
  


Seiya stood up. The only thing he was thinking about was "Usagi... must go to Usagi...."

  
  


Seiya and Usagi walked down the street toward each other. When they saw each other a faint green glow came over their eyes, and they cried out "Seiya-chan!" Usagi called. "Usa-chan!" Seiya called out. They ran over and kissed each other on the lips. Then together they said "My preciousssss....." Suddenly they realized what they were doing, and sprung apart. Usagi blushed and said "Seiya... I'm very sorry about that... I don't know what came over me..." Seiya was equally embarrassed. "Me neither... Odango.... I don't even really know what 'precious' means!" Usagi's eyes turned a little greener at that. "I do... it means... you...!" She put her arms around him in a big embrace. Seiya was confused. "O... Odango... does this mean you like me...?" She nodded. "It means I love you... my preciousssss!" Seiya's eyes turned green too. "I love you too, my preciousssss!"

  
  


From a nearby tree someone watched. "Nice... real nice..." The figure turned to the other, more hunched over one sitting next to her, and said "Nice work, gollum. Here's you're twenty." The other figure (Now revealed to be gollum) smiled as he took the money. "Much thanksesss, Rei-sama...." before running off. Rei smiled. "And now to make mamoru mine forever!"


	10. We're in a love TRIANGLE!

Author's friendly note: I am having a fun time writing this, and I hope you all like reading it.  
  
  
  


BUT IF NO ONE REVIEWS I'M TRASHING IT!

I'M SERIOUS!  
  


Chapter 10  
  


Gollum shuffled around with the twenty until he got back to the temple. He was so grateful that his love, Rei, had allowed him to stay at er temple in exchange for him setting Seiya and Usagi up.  
  


"Rei-sama.... my one... my only.... my pre-" Rei clamped her hand over his mouth before he could utter that annoying little word again. "Don't you start that 'precious' stuff again, or I'll re-read the end of your book over and over and over and over!" (Note- for all you who haven't read LOTR Gollum dies in the end) Gollum cringed and bowed to the ground. "No, nice Rei-sama, gollum, we be good, gollum, we promises..." Rei frowned. "Fine. But I want no more trouble from you. I wish you would get over me, as you know I wouldn't like you if you were the last... thing... on earth!" Gollum cowered fearfully. "Please forgive usssss... preciousssss..." Rei stomped away, and gollum was left quivering in fear and sadness. "My preciousssss, Rei-sama..."  
  


Usagi put her arms around Seiya. "My one.... my only.... my PRECIOUS!!!" Both their eyes had little green sparks in them. Minako, walking by, saw them and exclaimed "Aww! You make such a cute couple!" Instantly the spell was broken, the green sparks vanished, and both Usagi and Seiya blushed. "What was I... just doing there?" Seiya murmured. "I... don't know...." said Usagi. Minako shrugged. "I guess not all love is forever." and walked away. Instantly Usagi sprang back into Seiya's arms. "I love you, Seiya!" he smiled. "Really? I love you too!" She smiled. "Let's get married!" He frowned. "You are married." Usagi frowned too. "You're right, I am. Oh well." She got down. "I'm going to go find Mamoru so we can go to... DIVORCE COURT!" A big sweat bubble appeared on Seiya's head. "Do you remember what I said about not breaking you two up?!" Usagi shook her head. "The loss of the manga put a permanent dent in my memory." Seiya sighed. "Whatever..."  
  


Rei looked maliciously at Mamoru where he sat on the couch, reading a magazine. "Soon, Mamoru-chan. Soon you will be mine forever!!!"  
  


Mamoru sat on the couch reading a magazine he had picked up at the store. He wondered where Rei was, if she was still mad about the chocolate. He heard a noise behind the couch. "Rei-chan? Is that you?" Rei frowned. How did he notice her? How did she blow her cover? Any way, she must answer. "Yes, it is, Mamoru-chan.... my love...." She kissed him softly, but he pulled back. "Listen... Rei-chan... I need to talk to you..." She mewed softly, and sat down next to him, putting her arm around his shoulders. "What is it, dear?" He sighed.  
  


"I don't know if you can handle this or not, but... I'm a married man. I have a wife, and a house, and I know this can't last forever. In fact, it should never had started." Rei gasped in disbelief. "No, Mamoru-chan! Say it isn't so!"


	11. The long awaited love scene

Alright! Finally, a love scene with Seiya and Usagi!

  
  


Author's PO note: alright, why is no one reviewing?

  
  


******************

  
  


Rei sobbed as Mamoru said that. "Why, Mamoru-chan, why?" Mamoru sighed. "You must understand my situation here. I'm married. I have a wife who..." "Doesn't love you, but Seiya" Rei cut in. "Usagi doesn't love you, otherwise she wouldn't have been with Seiya. I on the other hand, love you with all my heart. Please just give me a chance...?"

  
  


"No. Usagi loves me. I know she does, so I'm going to go to her and make up and try to get this whole thing sorted out." Rei suddenly had an idea. "Why don't you stay here one more day? It can't hurt, can it?" He sighed. Rei looked so pitiful and pleading that he couldn't say no to her. "I guess so."

  
  
  
  


Gollum shuffled along outside the temple, sadly. "Rei-sama no like me, my precious, no like Gollum, gollum, poor Gollum likes nice Rei-sama but no likings in return, my precious, no!" He stumbled across a small book lying on the ground, and picked it up. "'A midsummers night dream?' what is this, my precious, shall we read it?"

  
  


*************

The long-awaited love scene...

*************

  
  


Seiya and Usagi walked hand and hand down the street. It was getting late, and the sun was setting. "Seiya, lets go to the park and watch the sun set, hmm?" Seiya smiled. "Ok, Odango, it's nice watching the sun set. Especially with you..." Usagi blushed and giggled. "Seiya you're so sweet..."

  
  


They walked together through the park, and sat together on a little bench overlooking the sea. They gazed out at the soft ripples and the warm reflection of the dying sunlight on the water. Usagi softly murmured "Seiya... isn't it beautiful...?" He smiled softly at her. "Yes, it is... just like you." She gasped, and turned to face him. "Seiya... do you really mean that?" His soft smile disappeared, and her frowned slightly. "Odango, I don't want to break you and Mamoru-san up. You should make that decision for yourself. I really don't want to be the cause of all your problems, even though I am." Usagi smiled. "You're not the cause of these problems, Seiya. Anata no sei ja nai wa..." She put one of her arms around his shoulder.

  
  


Seiya smiled sadly down at her. "Thank you, Odango, but you're married. I can't break you up, which is what I'm doing. I'm sorry for causing this trouble, but this can't continue." Usagi looked up at him. "Yes it can." He gasped. "What do you mean by that?!" Usagi looked down. "I haven't told you this, but when I chased after Mamoru..." Seiya thought "No '-chan'?" Usagi continued talking. "I saw him. He was in Rei's house. They were together, on the couch, and I saw him kiss her, then she kissed him back, and... oh..." Tears formed in her eyes, but she brushed them away. Seiya looked concernedly at her. She smiled. "I'm alright. I think I've finally gotten over him."

  
  


Seiya gasped. "What do you mean?! He's your husband! You can't get over-" Usagi put one of her fingertips on his lips to cut him off. I've realized that... through all my troubles... there's only been one person I've really had feelings for. I thought it was Mamoru... but now I realize it was..." She looked up into his face lovingly. "You, Seiya-chan..." Before he had time to think she pressed her lips against his lovingly, and placed her arms around him lovingly. When they finally parted, Usagi whispered into his ear softly "I love you, Seiya-chan... I really do. I want to be with you forever and ever..." He was so surprised he didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Is that true, Odango?" She nodded. "Truly, Seiya-chan" He embraced her with joy. "Oh, Odango!" She hugged him back. "Will you love me forever and ever?" He nodded, crying tears of joy. "Yes. Forever and ever!"

  
  
  
  


Alright! A love scene! Now on with the story.

  
  
  
  


The inner Senshi watched Usagi and Seiya on their little park bench of love jealously behind a bush. Makoto muttered obscenities under her breath. "I want a boyfriend forever and ever... that lucky Usagi... she had two... wait a second..." All of them turned to Rei, who was watching. She turned back to them. "What? Why is everyone looking at me? Oh yeah, I've got Mamo-" Ami clamped her hand over her mouth. "You're going to get us caught! Shut up!" Rei shut up, and they all continued watching the little love scene.

  
  


Usagi and Seiya walked back from the park, hand and hand. Seiya asked shyly, for he had been wondering for some time the answer to his question. "Usagi... um... would you like to come over to my house tonight?" She blushed very red and stammered "Wh- wha-what? Do you mean... that!?" Seiya sighed. " I don't mean that." Suddenly a figure appeared behind them and started reciting Shakespeare to them.

  
  


"Lysander riddles very prettily:

Now much beshrew my manners and my pride,

If Hermia meant to say Lysander lied.

But, gentle friend, for love and courtesy

Lie further off; in human modesty

Such separation as may well be said

Becomes a virtuous bachelor and a maid,

So far be distant; and, good night, sweet friend:

Thy love ne'er alter till thy sweet life end!"

  
  


It bowed, and said "Thank you, thank you, thank you, my precious..." Usagi and Seiya screamed. "Aah! Gollum!" Gollum frowned. "Hence, away! Now all is well: One aloof stand sentinel." They blinked. "Huh?" They saw the book in his hand and everything made sense. "He read a cursed copy of 'A Midsummers Night Dream!' Now he can only talk in verse! Run!"

  
  


Usagi, Seiya, Rei, Ami, Makoto, and Minako ran away from the cursed Gollum. He stood there, puzzled. "Why do they run away? This is a knavery of them to make me afraid?" Ami yelled back "Don't you notice something different about you?" He shook his head, and stuck out his tongue. "What do you see? You see an ass-head of your own, do you?" Ami was mad, and continued running. Gollum just stood there. "I see their knavery: this is to make an ass of me; to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir from this place, do what they can; I will walk up and down here, and I will sing, that they shall hear I am not afraid." He then started singing.

  
  


Now that you're out of my life I'm so much better!

You thought that I'd be weak without you but I'm stronger!

You thought that I'd be broke without you but I'm richer!

You thought that I'd be sad without you, I laugh harder!

You thought I wouldn't grow without you but I'm wiser

Thought that I'd be helpless without you but I'm smarter

You thought that I'd be stressed without you but I'm chillin'

You thought I wouldn't sell without you, sold nine million!

I'm a SURVIVOR! I'm not gon' give up! I'm not gon' stop. I'm gon' work harder!

I'm a SURVIVOR! I'm gonna make it! I will survive! Keep on surviving!

  
  


Big sweat drops appeared on everyone's heads. Rei muttered "There's one thing he can say out of verse..." Seiya suddenly noticed something. "Hey, were you spying on us?" The inner Senshi decided to plead guilty, since they had been caught red handed. "We're sorry! Please turn us into something unnatural!" (Don't get it? Read 'The Fellowship of the Pizza' by me) Seiya nodded. "I sure will! Yaah!" With a flash of light, all the senshi were suddenly wearing...

  
  


"'My size Barbie' princess dresses! Aaaah!" They all ran away screaming except for Rei, whom Usagi grabbed by the hair to stop. "Rei, what you did with Mamoru..." Rei looked down, ashamed. "I'm sorry, Usagi." Usagi shook her head. "Don't apologize! That was the nicest thing you ever did for me in my entire life! I found my true love thanks to you!" She gave her a big hug. "Thannk you for taking Mamoru off my hands! Also, cna I have some of his credit cards?" Rei nodded, and took some out. "Sure, there's plenty to go around!" Usagi took some, and grinned menacingly and waved goodbye as Rei ran screaming in her 'My size Barbie' princess dress "Thank you, Rei! Now Seiya..." They continued where Gollum had cut them off...

  
  


****************


	12. Kidnapped!

Ya'll like that love scene? Review if you did!

  
  


Chapter 12

*********

  
  


Usagi and Seiya stood together by the pond. Usagi shyly inquired "You can stay at my house tonight, if you want, Seiya-chan..." Seiya blushed. "Odango... are you sure about that? I mean, I don't want you to regret anything..." "I won't. Come on! You can sleep on the couch!" Usagi smiled happily. Seiya grimaced, and then blushed. "Oh... yeah... right..."

  
  


*********

Later.........

*********

  
  


Seiya lay on the couch, frowning. "Aww, man! I thought... oh well... its not the worse thing that could happen."

  
  


*****************

A hospital far, far away

*****************

  
  


Taiki lay in his hospital bed, wide awake. "That baka Minako... why'd she have to have me pay for Usagi's manga and the hospital bill?! Why not just one! Like... the hospital bill! My brain surgery costed way less then all those overpriced manga!"

  
  


Author's note: $15.95 for Ranma and Tenchi Muyo, $12.95 for Rayeearth, $9.95 for Sailor Moon and Japanese manga, I'm gonna be broke soon! And to think they cost ¥319 in Japan! Less than $3!

  
  


***************

A comfy apato...

***************

  
  


Yaten lay asleep in the comfy little apato the three of them shared.

  
  


**********

Usagi no ie

**********

  
  


Usagi was woken up by a cold breeze blowing in her window. She opened her eyes, and saw a figure leaning over her. She cried out "Seiya! I thought I told you to sleep on the couch!" But then she noticed it wasn't Seiya. "Who... who are you?!" He didn't answer, but lowered his hood a little bit so she could see his face. She gasped "No... not... you....!!! Not again... oh no!" She fainted, and the figure picked her up and walked away.

  
  


Seiya was awakened by a scream form the other room. He called "But Odango... if you wanted it... I mean, what was that?!" He got up, and walked over to her room after getting a cup of coffee and reading a magazine and watching some very late night tv.... ^o^ ;... He saw someone bending over Usagi's bed, and then picking her up. Seiya called into the room "How come you're still here? I heard her scream almost an hour ago!" The figure called back "I fell asleep waiting for you to come in! I had to make a dramatic exit, and with no one to watch me it wouldn't have been dramatic!"

  
  


Seiya screamed "Give her back!" The figure shook his head. "At least tell me your name!" Seiya yelled. The figure sighed. "Finally, you ask! Now all these inquisitive readers will know! I am..." He did a cool dance thing (Think... Saiyaman) "I.... am.... PRINCE DIAMOND!!!" Seiya shook his head. "Who is that?" Prince Diamond frowned and got a POed mark on his head. "I said... I.... am.... PRINCE DIAMOND!!! And I'm gonna take Usagi and take her to my spaceship so she will be my bride! Mwahaha!" Seiya screamed back at him "No!! Polygamy is against the law!!" Immediately a police officer showed up and blew his whistle. "Stop... in the name of love!" He yelled. Diamond looked strangely at him. "But I have Sailor Moon here. You're not Sailor Moon, so don't say her annoying sayings!"

  
  


The police officer sighed. "I'm not Sailor Moon. Its not my fault, my boss says we gotta be more friendly, and I thought..." Diamond cut him off. "Whatever... just go away... I have some dramatic business to attend to..." The police officer left, and diamond continued. "Anyway, I'm going to leave this seemingly too-good-to-be-true portal to my ship, so you can try to rescue Usagi and bring your friends, unknowingly walking into a trap. Goodbye!" He went through the portal which magically appeared there, and Seiya was left standing there. "Noooo! Odango!!!!!!!!!"


	13. The toogoodtobetrue portal

Sorry, this is up a day late! I'm really rushing because I just went on vacation.

In case you didn't know, apato means apartment!

  
  


Chapter 13

  
  


***********

  
  


Diamond carried Usagi to the too-good-to-be-true portal to his ship. "Follow me, if you want to save her!" He smiled mockingly at Seiya. "Bring some friends! It could be fun!" Seiya yelled "Fun?! This is unlawful! You're guilty of breaking and entering, trespassing, assault, kidnaping, robbery, and don't forget that she's already married, so you would be breaking the law for polygamy." Diamond scowled. "What do you mean, married?!" Seiya nodded. "She just got married a few weeks ago!" Diamond smiled evilly. "Then we'll just have to get rid of her husband, won't we?" Seiya gasped, when he realized what Diamond was thinking. "Wait! I'm not--" Diamond hit him with a ki blast. "See you later... sucker! Mwahahaha!" With that he went through the too-good-to-be-true portal to his ship with Usagi. "Little do they know that... this too-good-to-be-true portal is actually a trap! Not for me, of course, but for them!! Mwahahaha!"

  
  


Seiya heard all of that, as villains always explain their plan out loud, so the audience can hear. "I think this too-good-to-be-true portal is actually a trap." he said out loud. "But I'm going through anyway! But instead of going in now, when he might not be ready with his trap, I'm going to wait a while to be polite! In the meanwhile, I'll call Taiki and Yaten to come over and help me!" Diamond stuck his head out of the too-good-to-be-true portal and yelled "You sound so dumb!" before going back inside.

  
  


Seiya picked up the phone and dialed the number for his apato. Yaten picked it up. "Hey, Yaten, this is Seiya. Could you come over to Usagi's house for a while? She's been kidnaped by some freak who wants to make her his bride." Yaten thought. "I dunno, I missed the Academy awards yesterday, and I wanted to see how many Lord of the Rings won. I was thinking of reading the newspaper this afternoon and seeing." Seiya sighed. "Sorry, Yaten, but they only won four. Makeup, Visual Effects, Cinematography, and Music. A Beautiful Mind (Curse its name) won best director and picture." Yaten swore. "$h1#! And I hated A Beautiful Mind! (Curse its name) Go Lord of the Rings!"

  
  


Suddenly Seiya looked out the window, he heard something. There was a little black, hunched over thing on the sidewalk. It was saying something like "Curses, my precious, we didn't get best picture, sssssss, Nooo... A Beautiful Mind, we hates it forever, my precious!" Seiya pulled his head from the window. "That was weird. Can you come over, Yaten?" Yaten shrugged. "I can, but Taiki's still in the hospital for being run over by a car and manga. It's so nice that he's paying for it out of his private account, though..." Seiya nodded. "Well, I'll drive over to the hospital and pick him up, then I'll pick up you!" Yaten was puzzled. "Since when do we have a car?" Seiya shrugged. "I dunno. I'll be over in half an hour." They hung up. (Or is it 'hanged up')

  
  


Seiya arrived at the hospital. Because it wasn't visiting hours, he jumped up into Taiki's room by window. (How did he know which one?) "Hi, Taiki! How's it going!" Taiki struggled to raise his head. "S... Seiya... is that... you?" He tried to open his eyes, but Seiya stopped him. "Don' t Taiki, you need your rest. I've come here because Usagi's been kidnaped, and we need your help to get her back!" Taiki groaned. "Seiya, do I have to? I'm not very powerful, and when I attack it just generates giggles for anyone who understands English." Seiya nodded. "Yes, you have to come even though you're in the hospital. I'm sure the hospital will let you out for a little bit for a little more money on your part!" Taiki shuddered. "No, no, no. I'm hurt, and I'm staying here." Suddenly the door burst open and someone in a nurse outfit bursted in.

  
  


"Taiki-chan! I've come to take care of you!" Minako clamped her arms around him in a big hug. Taiki screamed. "Help!!! Seiya, I changed my mind. Please take me with you!" Seiya picked up Taiki, and jumped out the window with him (5th story. Hmm....) and Minako following. "Wait, Taiki-chan! You need your rest! Stop!" They all sprinted all the way to Usagi's house. (5 miles, no car. Hmm...) Yaten, Seiya and Taiki hurried to the too-good-to-be-true portal and jumped through it. "Where di you come from, Yaten?" He shrugged. "I dunno" Taiki sighed. "Is that all you can say?" Suddenly someone else came through the too-good-to-be-true portal. "Taiki-chan! There's no need to run anymore!" She flung her arms around him and nearly suffocated him.

  
  


*************

So is it funny? Are oyu reading it all, or just skimming this extremely funny fic?


	14. Because I said so!

  
  
  
  
  
  


Chapter 14

  
  
  
  


Please review, even if its short! I need motivation to keep me going!

  
  
  
  
  
  


*********************

  
  
  
  
  
  


Taiki screamed "AAH! Take me back, take me back!" Minako hugged him harder. "Oh, Taiki-chan, I knew you liked me!" Yaten and Seiya looked around "We seem to be in a little room in this place." Minako finally let go of Taiki to look, who breathed in deeply.

  
  


Suddenly a bunch of flourescent- colored babies appeared, and started shooting candy at them. Minako stood straight up. "Ai! Ai! Bon-bon babies are come!" she yelled. "Let's transform!"

  
  


Diamond smiled softly, as he watched from somewhere very far away. "MWAHAHAHA!" he screeched like a maniac.

  
  


(Note- this bon-bon babies are in the Sailor Moon SuperS movie)

  
  


"Venus crystal power!"

  
  


"Maker star power!"

  
  


"Fighter star power!"

  
  


"Healer star power!"

  
  


"MAKE UP!!"

  
  


In the place of three buff guys and one crazy girl, are four incredibly sexy babes. Diamond started drooling. "How did they do that?"

  
  


******

  
  


Diamond paced around the room in which Usagi lay sleeping on the bed. (Don't get the wrong idea...) "I have a funny feeling that my Bon-bon babies aren't going to win. Oh well, I have what I want." He turned to Usagi, lying on the bed. Snapping his fingers, Usagi suddenly awoke.

  
  


"Ai! Ai! A Balrog is come! Save me, Frodo!" She suddenly realized that it wasn't a Balrog, but Diamond, and realized she had woken up. "Oh... uh... hi Diamond... umm..." She saw the POed look on his face. "Um... let me guess.... you kidnaped me to be your bride, my friends are in mortal peril, and you kill them if I refuse...." Diamond blinked, then screamed "BAKAYAROU! YOU SPOILED THE DRAMATIC TENSION!!!!"

  
  


"Well... all that is correct. Take a look here." He made a gesture with his hand, and a translucent box containing Venus, Maker, Fighter, and Healer appeared. Diamond smiled. "Be my bride. If you refuse, I will kill your friends, who cannot get out, because I said so! MWAHAHAHA!" Taiki said to Yaten "How did we get here? Weren't we supposed to be fighting the Bon-bon babies now?" Yaten nodded. Usagi frowned. "Well, what if I don't wanna marry you? What if I get my friends out and we all escape?"

  
  


"Then... I will... ACT LIKE BARNEY!!!!! If you try, that is." Usagi got out of bed, walked over to the box, pushed the 'open' button, and the five of them started to walk away. "WAIIIIIT!" Diamond called, and shut off the exit, and imprisoned the four again. "You gotta marry me! That's the point! Or your friends die!" Usagi thought for a minute, then said

  
  


"Don't take this personally, guys, but I would rather have you die than marry Diamond. I mistook him for a Balrog, I mean smell his breath! When was the last time you brushed your teeth?" Diamond thought... "Maybe... last year... BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT! You were supposed to marry me for the lives of your friends! You do it all the time on TV!" Usagi shook her head. "Do you know how much I get paid for that? Off set I'm different." Diamond shook his head, and Usagi showed him a piece of paper with a very large number on it. Diamond nearly fainted. "Well, you're marrying me wether you like it or not, because I SAID SO!"

  
  


"#$%^!" Usagi swore. "Why?" she said in a whiny voice. Emeraude suddenly appeared. "Because you posses to Silver Moon Crystal, and not because he loves you. He loves me!"

  
  


Diamond shook his head. "Actually...."

  
  


***********************

TBC!


	15. Who loves whom?

  
  


Alright, how many more chapters should this have? I"m going to end it, but I'm wonder ing if it should be 1-2 or 5-7. Please review!

  
  
  
  
  
  


Chapter 15

  
  
  
  


*********

Emeraude smiled. "Diamond loves me, and no one else!"

  
  


Diamond sweat dropped. "Well.... actually.... I kidnaped her because I really think she's hot so I've fallen in love with her and now she's going to be my bride." He picked up Usagi, who covered her nose. "We will be happy forever, Serenity!" Usagi sniffed "Balrog..."

  
  


The Starlights and Venus had again escaped the box, and were sneaking toward the door, when someone stopped them. Rubeus. Minako blushed, thinking 'Wow... he's cute AND not a girl!' She batted her eyelashes at him "Hey there, handsome!" Diamond looked wildly around. "Did someone call me?"

  
  


Kooan, Beruche and Calveras came storming in. "HEY! RUBEUS IS OURS!" Rubeus blushed. "Hey, I never said I liked you!" Kooan put her arms around him, and a knife next to his throat. "You don't like US, you like ME! Right.....?" He nodded nervously as Kooan put him down.

  
  


Minako then put her arms around his neck and said "You know, I think I'm starting to like you Rubeus... more than Taiki.... he turns into a girl...." She stroked his read hair, and puckered her lips as she waited for his to kiss her.

  
  


(Ever seen SMR?)

  
  


Calveras put a... not a caterpillar... Gollum! Minako opened her eyes, saw Gollum, and scooted to the other end of the room, knocking over Emeraude, who was pawing over Diamond, making her fan snap in half.

  
  


"Why you @$%#$ #$ % $#% @ $%@ $%^^%&^**%$ @%!%$! $^%^@ !@# %^^&@ $*%!!&& (*&%(# $$^^ %&* #$^&(!!!!!!!!! MY FAN!!!!!!!!!" She then ran out into the hall, swiped the dark crystal form Wiseman, and turned it on Minako. THEN...

  
  


"Whoops... I forgot I can't handle the power!" She disappeared, along with her fan. Diamond sighed in relief, and picked up Usagi again.

  
  


"Now, my lo- ugh, you're heavy!! Now my love, we can live in happiness forever!" Usagi shook her head. "I love SEIYA not you." She got down, walked over to Star Fighter, and kissed him... HER on the lips. Diamond recoiled. "Y... yo... you're a LESBIAN?!?!?!?!" Usagi frowned. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


"No... I....." Figuring it would be hard to explain, she made up a lie. "SEIYA is really a boy. He's a cross-dresser." Diamond pointed to Star Fighter's.... very... UN-masculine physical attributes. "Really? It's pretty hard to be a convincing cross dresser wearing a BIKINI SAILOR FUKU!" Usagi gulped. "Darn, he didn't buy it."

  
  


Diamond shook his head sadly. "Well, if this is really your choice, I will leave you. I'm not female, so you wouldn't like me...." He started crying. "WAAAAH!" Usagi blushed. "I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!!" Diamond rubbed his eyes. "You aren't?" he started advancing on her. Usagi screamed, but something pushed him out the window.

  
  


"You should be more careful, Usagi." A tall dark, caped, hatted (OK, you get the picture) figure stood in the air (...?) Usagi gasped. "Tu.... tuxedo... Tuxedo Kamen!" Her eyes became hearts. "Wow... that super cute super hero that always saves me!! I wonder what his name is!" Minako sighed. "Usagi... remember? He's Mamoru!" Usagi blushed "ooh."

  
  


"In that case it's that ugly, stupid, clumsy oaf that always gets in the way of me kicking the enemy's @$$, Tuxedo MORON Kamen!" She frowned, and turned the other way. Tuxedo Kamen sweat bubbled. "IT wasn't my idea to save you... it was Rei-chan's!" Sailor mars appeared.

  
  


"It was because they hurt my poor little Gollum... making him almost kiss that ugly witch!" She pointed to Minako, still fawning over Rubeus while the sisters Ayakashi (minus Petz) argued and hit her with ki beams) Rei walked over to poor Gollum, still unconscious. "Aww... Gollum-chan... are you all right?" Gollum smiled mischievously. "Yesss, my preciousssss..."

  
  


Rei kissed him. "I don't love you, Mamoru, I love Gollum-chan. Don't you dare try to get in the way of our relationship!" Mamoru was stunned. Gollum held up a bottled entitled 'Instant love potion' Mamoru's face went red, and took it. "Gimme some of that! You can have Rei, she was ugly anyway. Who I want is...." He made his way out into the hall, only to reveal Saffir and Petz making out.

  
  


"PETZ, MY LOVE! COME JUMP INTO MY ARMS!" He dropped the bottle on her, which overturned on Petz. "Mamoru-chan, my love!" They kissed each other, and walked out together with Saffir yelling behind them 'Gimme back Petz!'. Everyone watched with bug eyes until finally Usagi walked up to Seiya and said...

  
  


***********

Gotta wait til next chapter!

If there is one!

There will be if every single one of you reviews!


	16. Yaten's fantasy sorry DREAM

I am all out of ideas. I NEED to know who you want to end up with whom, or I'll make this a  
Usagi+Mamoru fic, and you would all HATE that.  
  
Choices are:  
Usagi- Diamond, Seiya, Mamoru  
Mamoru- Usagi, Rei, Petz  
Rei- Gollum, Mamoru  
Minako- Rubeus, Taiki  
Diamond- Emeraude, Usagi  
  
Chapter 16  
**********  
  
Usagi walked home. She went to bed. She fell asleep.  
  
Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten went to their apartment. They fell asleep.  
  
Mamoru went to his house. He fell asleep.  
  
Gollum and Rei went to her temple. They fell asleep... after a few hours  
  
The sisters Ayakashi, Rubeus, Diamond, and Emeraude all went into their dimensional  
spaceship. They fell asleep.  
  
But someone was awake.  
  
Someone vile... someone evil.... someone...  
  
The person stalked outside the Kou's apartment, whispering... "Your minutes here are numbered,  
Yaten... 1 mississippi, 2 mississippi, 3 mississippi...  
  
Yaten awoke in the middle of te night to find someone on his bed, leaning over him. "Who....  
who are you?" The figure chuckled slightly, and said "I am... your worst nightmare!" as it flung a  
net over Yaten and carried him off in a sack, laughing "Ho ho ho ho ho !  
  
Taiki and Seiya were awakened by Yaten's screaming. Seiya mumbled to Taiki "Go back to  
sleep, its just the Spanish Inquisition." Taiki nodded. "No one ever expects them."  
  
Yaten was knocked unconscious. When he awoke he was in a small, low lit room, all tied up. A  
figure was in the corner, staring at him. Yaten whispered to the person "Who... who are you?  
Where am I?" The figure chuckled softly. "You are in the house of Elrond!" Yaten was puzzled.  
"No I'm not." The figure shook his head.  
  
"Alright, you're not in the house of Elrond, you are in the house of Tom Bombadil!" Yaten  
screamed "No! I'm afraid of big, fat singing idiots! They remind me of.... clowns... *shiver*"  
  
"You are not in the House of Elrond or the house of Tom Bombadil! You are in the house of  
Mizuno! Ami Mizuno!" The figure took off its cloak to reveal Ami, dressed in a very sexy peach-  
colored lingerie set. Yaten blushed very deeply, then resumed struggling with his bonds. "Ami?  
Wha... what the @#$%? Let me out!" Ami stopped him. "You can save all the dirty stuff for  
later, Yaten-chan. Right now..." She pulled her head close to his. Yaten struggled. "You cannot  
resist, Yaten-chan... now..." She pulled even closer. Until she was millimeters away from his  
face. Yaten screamed as she closed her eyes "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yaten woke up with sweat on his face, panting. "A dream... just a dream... thank god..." He  
remembered the horrifying image of Ami in her lingerie set, leaning over him... looking oh-so-  
tempting... WHAT WAS HE THINKING?!?! Yaten slapped himself several times, then rolled  
over to go back to sleep. "God... I must be crazy to think Ami is hot... it was just a dream  
anyway... she would never dress or act like that..." With that thought he went back to sleep.  
  
That morning...  
  
Yaten was walking in the mall with the gang, when Usagi said "Come on! Ami told me she got a  
new job!" They all walked until they got to a big store with a big sign saying 'Victoria's Secret'  
All the males (Seiya, Taiki, Yaten, Gollum [when did he get here? {Rei brought him}]) stared  
bug eyed at what was displayed. ^ ^;  
  
Usagi announced "Ami got a job as a lingerie model!" Out came Ami, wearing the same peach  
lingerie she had been wearing in Yaten's fantasy... sorry... dream. Seiya, Gollum and Taiki got  
nosebleeds. Yaten fainted, murmuring 'I thought it was just a dream...'  
  
****************  
  
There! Another couple for you to REVIEW about, of which I am getting very FEW! If you want  
this to continue, REVIEW!!!!!!  
  
I NEED to know who you want to end up with whom, or I'll make this a Usagi+Mamoru fic, and  
you would all HATE that. 


	17. A night they couldn't remember

MLUM 17

  
  


Ok, I got one opinion review for my story, asking it to be a Usagi+Mamoru one.

I really don't want that, but just to show you how much those reviews mean to me, I'm making one.

  
  


I'm putting Mamoru and Usagi's confrontation with each other, with a humorous part, and non-humorous part.

  
  


*Note* This chapter contains what some might call PG-13 material. If your small children are reading this, you might want to screen it for them.

  
  


********

  
  


A night they couldn't remember

  
  


*********

  
  


Usagi walked down the street, bored out of her mind. She was feeling a little guilty about loving Seiya while she was already married.

  
  


Seiya... she knew her love with him couldn't last... but she wished it could. No matter how much she put it off, in the back of her head, Seiya was a girl, and like Diamond said, she was not a lesbian.

  
  


Usagi sighed "I'm so stressed out." She spied her favorite bar down the street, and smiled. "Time for a drink!" *Note- Usagi is 21 here*

  
  


**********

  
  


Mamoru was taking a little stroll to no where in particular. He was in distress about Rei dumping him, and decided to go get a drink.

  
  


'A' drink?

  
  


**********

  
  


After about four pina coladas (I love those... not the alcoholic ones though) Usagi started seeing blurry. She had never been very good with alcohol, and tonight was no exception.

  
  


Mamoru stared at the pretty blonde chick with the hair odangoes. 'Damn she's hot! I wish I could..." (His thought discretion is a little off too)

  
  


Usagi looked at the sexy hunk next to her with the short black hair 'Damn he's hot! I wish I could..." (Usagi?! You too?!)

  
  


They stared at each other, not recognizing each other because of the alcohol...

  
  


Mamoru said "Hello, there..."

  
  


********

  
  


The next day, at Mamoru and Usagi's house (Or rather, their bed...)

  
  


Usagi opened her eyes to find Mamoru sleeping next to her. They were both naked, and the realization wasn't that hard to make about what they must've done. She started to panic. The last thing she remembered from last night was ordering a third pina colada. 'I must've gotten drunk... and he took advantage of me!' she thought. Why he would've was a mystery though.

  
  


Mamoru woke up and saw Usagi in his bed. He screamed. "AAH! USAGI WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?!?!" She frowned and pulled the sheet around her. "I was about to ask you the same question." She glared at him. "So... taking advantage of me in my drunken state? What is with you? I understand being mad at me for falling in love with Seiya, but just... that's not!" Mamoru shook his head. "I didn't do anything like that. I don't think so... at least... I don't really remember... I remember getting a couple of drinks... then... not much else..." 

  
  


Usagi frowned. "Why should I believe you?"

  
  


Mamoru frowned. "You're just jealous.

  
  


Usagi pouted. "Of who?"

  
  


Mamoru pouted. "Rei."

  
  


Usagi sneered. "She dumped you!"

  
  


Mamoru sneered. "Well at least I'm not gay like you!"

  
  


Usagi got a POed mark on her forehead. "You know I'm not a lesbian. Seiya is currently a man. More man than you will ever be."

  
  


Mamoru got a POed mark on his forehead. "What do you mean be that?!"

  
  


Usagi stuck her tongue out. "Exactly what I said!"

  
  


Mamoru stuck his tongue out. "Well Rei's better than you'll ever be!"

  
  


Usagi turned her back to him. Mamoru did the same. She picked up her clothes from the floor, and got dressed. "I'm leaving now. Don't tell anyone about this unfortunate... mishap."

  
  


***** Anti M+U fans- rejoice now! M+U fans review now! (And read the next chapter to see if they make up)

  
  


Mamoru frowned. "Why would I? I don't even like you. You're dumber than dirt. You're uglier than Rei's oji-san. You're the clumsiest, most unappealing girl in the universe. I hate you, and would be happy if I never saw you again. I'm sorry I ever married you. In fact, we should get divorced as soon as possible. You're nothing but an ugly, good for nothing, clumsy, un-cute bimbo who will never make it in life, let alone make it with a decent guy. The only one you can get is a bisexual who just happens to be able to turn male! You're so... so..." He stopped when he saw tears in Usagi's eyes.

  
  


Usagi turned around so he couldn't see her face, but the tears were already falling. "Is that what you really think of me...?" She didn't wait for an answer. "I don't care. I don't love you anyway. I don't know why I married you. Maybe it was because it was my destiny, or just because you were the only half-decent guy available. Maybe it was because of Chibi-Usa. That doesn't matter now, she'll never be born. I'm glad you don't like me anymore, because now I won't feel guilty. So... goodbye... Mamoru-san." She quietly opened and shut the door of their house as she left. Mamoru watched out the window as she left. He wanted to call out to her, to stop her, to tell her he didn't mean it, but the words just stuck in his throat. He stared feeling dizzy, and leaned against the balcony banister. He whispered "Usako..." before falling to the floor, unconscious.

  
  


*************

  
  


Sad, huh? Don't worry, I'll do funny next chapter if you review! Make sure to tell me who you want with who!


	18. I have no one

I know you probably won't like this, and if you don't review and I'll change it.

  
  


And if there are any less than 50 reviews, you will have no new chapter!

  
  


UM18

  
  


*************

  
  


I have no one

  
  


*************

  
  


Usagi sat on a park bench, all alone, then started weeping openly.

  
  


"Is that what you really think about me, Mamoru-san? What about our destiny? Our lives, past, present and future? Don't you care about them?!" She sat there, crying for some time, then got up, continuing to talk to herself.

  
  


"It's not like I care about what you think, it's not like a still care about you . . . but all that is so true about me! I am a clumsy, ugly, good-for-nothing person who can't even get a decent guy! I mean face it, Seiya's a woman!" She talked a little louder. "I can't have Mamoru, can't love Seiya, in fact I don't love Seiya!" She crumpled on the ground again, shaking. "But what will I do now?" Suddenly she heard a rustling in the bushes. "Who is it?" she called.

  
  


A dark figure was walking down the street glumly, his ponytail hanging limply at his side. Usagi recognized him at once. "Seiya! Wait, come back Seiya! I didn't mean it!" He looked sadly at her, and Usagi saw there were tears in his eyes.

  
  


"Don't worry about it, Odango. I always knew you loved him. In fact, it's alright with me. I just want you to be happy." Usagi was about to say some thing, but he continued. "Odango, listen to me. I knew we could never be together from the start. It's your destiny to love him, and for him to love you. And as much as I deny it, I am female."

  
  


He unbuttoned his shirt and portrayed the . . . evidence. "You see? We could never be together." Buttoning up his . . . her shirt he . . . she resumed walking away. "It was fun, Odango, but you deserve better. Go to Mamoru. He loves you more than I could ever." Usagi yelled after him. . . her "Seiya wait! Don't leave! He doesn't love me! He. . ." but Seiya was gone.

  
  


Usagi stood there in a daze. "Well what do I do now?"

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She walked slowly to. . . nowhere. She couldn't go home, Mamoru was there. She couldn't go to Seiya's apartment, that's for sure. Usagi wondered if there was anywhere. . . or one. . . for her left anymore. She wandered over to the docks

  
  


Why bother people with herself anymore? She was just trouble. Screw her destiny, it was never going to happen now, anyway. She looked out at the sea beneath her. Usagi had never learned how to swim. As much time as she spent in a swimsuit, it was always to try to attract boys. She was always afraid to go in the water and swim.

  
  


'I could just end it all here...' she thoughts

  
  


******

Doshite? Well I like Angst stories! I read a lot, and write a lot (Though I never publish them) If you don't want Usagi to commit suicide, tell me in a review! Also, 

WHO THE HECK DO YOU WANT WITH WHO?!?! THIS COULD VERY WELL TURN OUT TO BE AN USAGI/MAMORU FIC IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL!!!

  
  


*Ahem* Sorry about that. Do I have to tell you to review?

  
  


If you don't know how there is a button

right

Here |

\/


	19. Who's child is this?

UM19

  
  


Meowm answers reviews! 6! Woo-hoo!!!

******

Votes:

U/M-4.5

U/D-1

U/S-.5

U/A-.5 (O_O Usagi and Artemis.....)

To:

Mystic8668: Please don't spell please 'plz' It is very stupid. I hate it when people write like that.

Akarui Kibuno: Creative Idea, but it's a little not in the style of this story to have U+M end up with cats. I had a horrid experience with a Minako+Artemis story and have never written a story with him in it as a result. Thank you for reviewing, I appreciate opinions and ideas, however abstract.

Mina2x: The '.5' in the votes is a result. I do think angst helps add romantic tension, that is why I added it (And made it PG-13) Concerning Seiya actually has a female body (In the Manga at least, and in my story) That would be quite weird for them to meld.

Angel of Reality: Thank you for all your reviews. I took your advice and it is now PG-13. Maybe I should add more humor?

Alison Alexander: Sorry... Diamond only got your vote... guess it's not going to happen... thank you for reviewing anyway...

Selene: Hot oil is my greatest fear. Don't mention it. I saw a movie where they. . . never mind. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, it is a most cruel way to die. U+M reviews have gotten very popular, it may be what I want to do.

  
  


*********

  
  


Mamoru sat in his apartment, doing nothing. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. He opened it. Seiya was there, looking sad.

  
  


"Seiya! What are you doing here?!" he snapped angrily.

  
  


Seiya looked down. "I... I... um..."

  
  


Mamoru scowled. "Well, what?! Out with it!"

  
  


Seiya looked at him. "I'm sorry... but... I just saw Usagi!"

  
  


"What?" He paused. "What about her?!"

  
  


"She was really down about you... what did you do to her?"

  
  


Mamoru sucked in his breath sharply. He said nothing, then "What business of that is yours? You don't have to interfere so much! If you didn't keep getting into everything then none of this would have ever happened!!" Seiya blushed.

  
  


Mamoru continued. "I just hate you, you know?! You're a girl, god dammit! Why did you have to go and steal my wife?! Usagi and I were happily married, and then you had to go and... and..." he stopped when he realized what he was saying.

  
  


Seiya said "She still loves you, you know." Mamoru was silent. "You two were meant for each other, and should stay together."

  
  


Mamoru shook his head. "No, I don't love her, and she doesn't love me either! Stop lying!" Seiya shook her head. "It's true. You know it."

  
  


Mamoru silently nodded. Seiya added. "She looked really sad. You might want to go to her right away." Mamoru looked at her. "Where was she?!"

  
  


Seiya cringed. "Standing on the dock..." Mamoru waited for her to continue. "You really hurt her. She looked like she was about to jump."

  
  


_ _

_ o

o o

O o

O O

O_O

(0_0)

  
  


"USAAAAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mamoru screamed as he ran towards the dock.

  
  


*****

  
  


Usagi stepped up onto the balcony. She whispered goodbye and jumped form the railing towards the water 50 feet down.

  
  


'Did someone just call my name?' she thought as she fell.

  
  


Suddenly she felt an arm grasp hers. She looked up to see Mamoru holding onto her hand to keep her from plunging down. She struggled. "Let me go!" she yelled as she tried to free herself and fall to her death, where at last she would have peace.

  
  


Mamoru shook his head. "Usagi... I can't let you die. If you died, then. . . "

  
  


A gust of wind suddenly blew, and Usagi couldn't hear what he said, but she was sure it was something nasty. Still dangling by her hand she yelled over the wind "Can't you even let my die in peace?! Leave me alone! I don't need you or want you!"

  
  


Mamoru looked down "What about your friends? Your life? Me?! I love you, Usagi!"He struggled to hold onto her arm, which was slipping.

  
  


Usagi gasped, then said "No you don't! If you did you wouldn't have left me! I don't love you anyway!"

  
  


Mamoru winced, not just from what she had said. She was slipping from his grasp and would fall soon if she didn't get up. "Usagi! I wasn't thinking! It was a mistake I never should've made! I"m sorry, can you forgive me?"

  
  


She frowned. "No! Do have any idea how I felt? I don't want to feel anymore. I don't want anything except for you to let me go!! I don't want to live anymore!s"

  
  


"What about your family and freinds? What about me? What about Chibi-usa? She'll never be born if you die!" Mamoru held onto her arm tightly.

  
  


Usagi glared at him. "What do you care about her? She's not even yours!!!"

  
  


O_O

  
  


Mamoru's eyes widened, and his grip slipped. Usagi screamed as she fell down into the deep water below, while Mamoru just sat there, stunned at what she had just said.

  
  


"Not... my... child...?" he whispered softly

  
  


**********

Cliff-hanger! No, in my story she is NOT Mamoru's child! Review and see who it is!


	20. The future disrupted who is the father?

UM20

  
  


Yeah! Twentieth chapter! Please don't give me any of that 'Chibi-Usa is too Mamoru's child! It says so here' crap. I know she is. This is a FANFIC. It is NOT REAL!! Don't correct me! I know it's right!

  
  


I bet you all want to know what happens to Usagi, right? Does she die? You won't know until next chapter!

  
  


This one's set in the future! Serenity and Endymion!

  
  


******************

  
  


She told him WHAT?!

  
  


******************

  
  


Serenity woke up smarter.

  
  


She knew things had been happening in the past. She could 'recall' more and more of Usagi, her past self's, predicament. Thus, things had been rocky between Endymion and herself for the last few weeks. She looked back to see what had happened yesterday.

  
  


(I know this is weird, but Serenity knows only what has just happened in the past, not what's going to happen)

  
  


'Let's see...' she thought to herself as she 'remembered.' There's the night I couldn't remember, he gets me all sad, Seiya finds out I don't love him... sorry... her, then I go and...' she paused, and gasped. She went over the memory several times to make sure it was real, then sat up and screamed

  
  


"OF ALL THE c!!!"

  
  


(All you slow people probably won't get that, so don't try)

  
  


She got up, hit her head against the wall a few times, then ran around screaming the fore-said phrase, which should not be repeated around young children (Or anyone, really)s

  
  


"She told him! She told him! I can't believe it she told him!!! After all I said to her about not telling anyone! SHE TOLD HIM!!!!!!!!! $41t $41t $41t $41t $41t $41t!!" She sat down, with her head between her hands

  
  


"NOOOOOO! If he knows then... then..." She suddenly looked around for Endymion. He was not in the room. She got up to look for him.

  
  


"Endymion... Endymion?" She walked around their palace, calling his name. Suddenly she saw him, standing at the end of the hallway. "Endymion... I... I..."

  
  


He stopped her. She saw the sad expression on his face, and stopped talking. He said "Serenity... is it true?"

  
  


She found her words sticking in her throat, so she just looked down, and slowly nodded.

  
  


Endymion gasped, then looked at her deeply. "Why didn't you tell me? I would've understood." 'Would've' Serenity thought. 'He would've understood?'

  
  


Serenity tried to explain herself. "Endymion, I didn't want to tell you because... because..." She suddenly realized that she had no reason, and fell silent again. He glared at her.

  
  


"So... you don't trust me?"

  
  


"No, no! That's not it!" God, this wasn't going the way she wanted it to at all. All the tension that had built up between them from the last few weeks had finally been unleashed.

  
  


Endymion sighed. He looked so sad that Serenity tried to put her arm around him to make him feel better, but he stopped her. He slowly spoke "Can you at least tell me who the real father is?"

  
  


Serenity blushed, and looked down, thinking, 'Should I? Should I?' She knew If she did, he would hate her forever. But if she didn't he would hate her forever. She finally took a deep breath, and whispered "No. I can't." She turned away from him, so she wouldn't have to see his reaction.

  
  


"Then... there is no reason I should stay here. If I can't trust my own wife, who can I trust?" He started to walk away from her. Serenity tried to stop him, but he pushed her away. She collapsed against a wall, tears falling from our eyes. She said nothing though, watching him disappear.

  
  


Serenity slowly got up. "Usagi... you will pay for destroying my happiness! I will make sure of it!" She walked toward the Time portal chamber, where Pluto was.

  
  


She greeted Pluto hastily. "Yo."

  
  


Pluto bowed. "Good afternoon, your majesty. What can I do for you today?"

  
  


Serenity, again "Take me to the past."

  
  


Pluto opened the time portal "What location would please you?"

  
  


"Juu-ban, Tokyo"

  
  


Pluto set the coordinates, the said "It is done, Serenity. What are you doing there?"

  
  


Serenity said "None of your &06 6@/\/\ /|/ 8!00DY /\/\0t43% @$$ %#ck1/|/& business! Now %#ck off and let me through!" With that she burst through the time portal's doors and went to the past.

  
  


Pluto rubbed her ears, with X-ed out eyes. "Moody..."

  
  
  
  


**********

  
  


Review and tell me who you want the father to be! Can't be Mamoru, though.


	21. You told!

UM21

  
  


I have gotten many votes for U+M, so I. . . may. . . NOT do that! Or I may! I don't know!

  
  


I'm going to count the starlights as girls from now on, as they are. (They only change sex in the anime)

**********

  
  


You told!!!

  
  


**********

  
  


Usagi fell down, into the cold, dark water. Flailing her arms helplessly, she tried to float, but couldn't, and went under. She tried to scream, but water got in her mouth. She just remembered thinking she didn't want to die, before blacking out.

  
  


Mamoru watched, in a state of shock, contemplating what she had just said. 'Not my child? Then whose?' She had never mentioned being unfaithful to him, but after all this who would? It wasn't Seiya, as she's a girl. He vaguely looked down at Usagi, sinking under. He felt he should save her, but. . .

  
  


Mamoru clenched his fists, wondering what to do. Just as he decided to save her, a flash occurred, and someone appeared over the water. She floated over, picked up Usagi, and put her on the dock again. He gasped when he saw who it was.

  
  


"S... Sere... Serenity?!" Mamoru stared at her, ans she angrily lay Usagi down. She took no notice of him, just looking at Usagi very angrily, and muttering some off-color words at her.

  
  


Serenity looked at him, finally. It was a look of someone who hasn't had a very good, day, and not to mess with them. "What are you staring at?!" she said slowly.

  
  


"Uh... um... nothing, really!" He sweat dropped, and looked around somewhere, anywhere except there.

  
  


"You look like you're staring at me, hm?" When he didn't answer, she continued. "Well, I suppose you have reason to, wondering why I'm here, not in my own time?" He nodded. "Well, it's because of her." She gestured to Usagi. "I take it she just told you?"

  
  


Mamoru nodded. "Was it true? I mean, she didn't just make it up, right?"

  
  


Serenity sighed. "It's true." She glanced over at the still form of Usagi. "It didn't happen so fast in my time, but because of all this, she's probably already pregnant. I've hidden the fact of it so long, and because of all the trouble you two have been through, she wouldn't have told you either."

  
  


"I take it you're not going to tell me who the real father is?" Serenity shook her head.

  
  


"I'll leave that for her to decide. I didn't tell Endymion, so I don't think she's going to tell you." She paused. Usagi stirred. "She's waking up." Serenity sighed, then kneeled down by Usagi.

  
  


Usagi opened her eyes slowly, then coughed. She saw Serenity. Her eyes went wide, and she stammered "Wh... what are you doing here?" Serenity glared at her. "You should talk. What are YOU DOING here?"

  
  


"You're not talking about?"s

  
  


"Oh yes I am."

  
  


"But I. . ."

  
  


"I told you not to tell!"

  
  


Usagi paused. She remembered that. "Oops..."

  
  


**Flashback**

  
  


It was back when they had went to the past while under attack from Nemesis, and just won. Serenity and Usagi were talking in private.

  
  


Usagi- "What's the best part of the future?"s

  
  


Serenity- "Probably being queen of the earth."

  
  


Usagi- "It must be great, living here, and married to Mamoru, having your very own child with him!"

  
  


Serenity- "Yes. . . my child. . ."

  
  


Usagi- "But it's his child too, isn't it?"

  
  


Serenity- "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but. . . she's not."

  
  


Usagi- "O_O... Then who's her father?!?!?!"

  
  


Serenity- (Sticks out tongue) Not tellin'! And if you tell him, you're as good as dead!!"

  
  


Usagi- "But then you'd be dead too!"

  
  


Serenity- "I'd rather be dead then have him know!"

  
  


Usagi- "At least tell me who the father is, so I won't screw up the future!"

  
  


Serenity- "You're going to have to screw it up anyway... sorry! That was a joke. . . Ok, the father is. . ." (Whispers in Usagi's ear. Usagi screams)

  
  


Usagi- "You've got to be kidding! Him?! No way!!"

  
  


**End flashback**

  
  


"Oohhh... I remember now..." Usagi looked up at Serenity apologetically "Sooooorrryyyyy......."

  
  


"DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT WOULD DO TO MY TIME?! I WAS HAPPY! I WAS MARRIED TO A HANDSOME MAD, HAD A WONDERFUL CHILD, AND WAS QUEEN, GOD DAMMIT!!! HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT HE WOULD DO IF HE FOUND OUT, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, THAT I WAS CONSTANTLY LYING TO HIM ABOUT HIS CHILD'S PARENTAGE? EVEN MORE THAN THAT, I WAS #^%&ING UNFAITHFUL TO HIM!!! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR HUSBAND RAN OFF LIKE THAT!!!" Serenity took a deep breath before she passed out.

  
  


"Lucky for me, he hasn-" Usagi looked around. Mamoru was gone. "OH NO! HE RAN OFF JUST LIKE ENDYMI-" 

  
  


"Relax, Usagi, I'm just over here. . ." Mamoru crawled out behind a bench. "I didn't want my eardrums to burst."

  
  


"That explains the faint ringing in my ears. . ."

  
  


Serenity shook her head. "Besides the point." She pointed to Usagi. "You. On the playground. 3:00." She checked her watch. "2:55. Just enough time to get to the playground!"

  
  


****5 minutes later****

  
  


Usagi said "What are we doing on the playground?"

  
  


Serenity said "We are going to have a showdown."

  
  


Usagi said "Why"

  
  


Serenity said "Because I said so. And I want you dead."s

  
  


"You'll die, too."

  
  


"I know that. But what's important is that you'll be dead, too."

  
  


"Uh... can I say something."

  
  


"You can, but MAY you?" (Uh-oh... grammar police!)

  
  


"We're the same person. If you want me to die, why don't you just kill yourself?" Usagi said, hoping Serenity understood time-travel as badly as the author did.

  
  


"No, because I am the future, and if I died, you would still be alive until you were as old as me, when you would comeback in time, but there would be no one, since you're already grown up, so you would live a normal life!" Serenity took a deep breath, as she had said it all in one breath.

  
  


"All right, bring it on, Serenity!"

  
  


"Get ready, Usagi!"

  
  


The two bared their teeth, stuck out their tongues, sand made faces at each other before assuming battle poses like the DBZ characters.

  
  


"Let's get it on!"

  
  


Mamoru watched all this from the safety of behind the bench, trembling. "Help....."

  
  


**********

  
  


A fight scene! Cool! Review and see what will happen!


	22. Diamond in the rough CLICHE!

UM22

  
  


Alright, this is going to be a 25 chapter story. Nice, even, divisible number. I'm going to add a few twists, so make sure you pay attention! Also, review for a sequel.

  
  


I can't resist this title. I just saw Aladdin for the first time since Pre-K. It is so funny! But the title... CLICHE!!!! CLICHE!!!

  
  


A lot of people have been wanting to know who the father is. If you haven't guessed by now, I guess I'll have to spell it out for you. I shall.

  
  


By the way, in the manga, they come up with a new attack each time, instead of using the same old one over and over and over and over again. That's what I'm doing here.

  
  


*********************************

  
  


Diamond in the rough (Cliche!!)

  
  


**********************************

  
  


*D-I-A-M-O-N-D-I-S-T-H-E-F-A-T-H-E-R-S-O-K-I-S-S-M-Y-A-S-S-!-!-!*

  
  


(So read Serenity's bumper sticker)

  
  


Usagi sweat dropped. "Uh... Serenity, why did you bring your Ferrari to the past?"

  
  


"Because I'm stupid. Now you all know who the father is."

  
  


**Back to the story**

  
  
  
  


Welcome, all you fans who have come here to see Usagi beat herself up!

  
  


Serenity and Usagi have assumed battle poses, DBZ style, and are now about to duke it out!!

  
  


Serenity decides to be friendly to Usagi, and fight on fair terms with her. "You lousy, good-for-nothing %!#*$!! Im going to kick your @$$!"

  
  


Usagi gasps, her very slow brain finally clicking. "Hey! I know who the father is! Because the only guy I ever slept with other than Mamoru is Diamond!"

  
  


"No, duh! It took you that long to remember?!"

  
  


"A while. Mmm... I remember that night... Diamond-sama...."

  
  


"Usagi, stop! We're supposed to be fighting!!"

  
  


"Alright! Get ready, Serenity! KA... ME..."

  
  


Serenity realized- "Kamehameha?! You don't know how to do those! Only DBZ characters do!"

  
  


"I don't care! HA... ME..." Usagi continued the countdown, with only one syllable left.

  
  


Serenity realized her peril "Think seriously about this, Usagi! Do you really want to kill your future self?!"

  
  


"Yes! ...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" A really big ki-blast incinerated Serenity's hair, who ran around pointlessly until it burned off, so it was as short as Haruka's.

  
  


"MWAHAHA!!! I have my revenge!!!" Usagi cried, as Serenity sulked off.

  
  


Serenity took the time key from the chain around her neck, and cried "Yo, Pluto! Get the heck over here!" Pluto appeared, with a big swirly, sparkly entrance.

  
  


"Yo." Pluto said

  
  


"Yo. Get me out of here." Serenity pouted.

  
  


"Yeah, sure."

  
  


"Stop it. You're starting to sound like me."

  
  


"Sorry, dude. Let's go." Pluto waved her time key, and the disappeared very sparkly and shimmery-like.

  
  


"YEAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! I won! I won! I won!" Usagi jumped up and down. Then the inevitable thought came to her mind. She cringed, thinking 'Is it possible to do that with a Hobbit?'

  
  


Then a serious thought replaced that silly, dirty one. She cried "Waa! Mamoru! Where'd you go?!"

  
  


"Over here, Usagi." The serious look on his face vanquished all humor from this chapter. "What do you mean, you slept with Diamond?"

  
  


Usagi started to talk, but suddenly couldn't. "Well.... um... I...."

  
  


***********

  
  


From his spaceship, Diamond watched Usagi's beautiful face, the one he loved so much. "Usagi-chan..."

  
  


********************

MWAHAHAHA! Diamond, yes DIAMOND!!!! Review and tell me what YOU THINK!!


	23. What happened there

UM23

  
  


Thank you for all your helpful reviews! Oh yeah, whoever wrote the anonymous review as 'love bug' go to hell. What does 'sry' mean? I hope it's not like 'plz' shortcuts.

  
  


Oh, yeah, no offense to Ann Landers, (I've read it myself for the last five years) I hope your name isn't copyrighted, but I think it would be funny to use in my story.

  
  


PS. Diamond is the only one I'm not using the Japanese name for, because Demando is so hard to spell! It's like calling Bulma Buruma, or Krillin Kuririn. It's the same #$%*ing thing!

  
  


*****************************

  
  


Ann Landers (Boy are we desperate)

  
  


*****************************

  
  


"Usagi... what do you mean you slept with Diamond?" Mamoru said slowly. Usagi felt a pang of guilt, remembering that day... sorry... night...

  
  


**Begin Flashback**

  
  


(Note- this is half set in the future, half in the past)

  
  


When Usagi had gone to the future, after they had defeated Nemesis, they had some extra time, and decided to stay a while. After all, they could just go back in time for the time they missed! No one would ever know they were gone!

  
  


Usagi was talking with Serenity, who finally told her that Diamond was the father. Usagi couldn't believe how that was true.

  
  


A few weeks later, she could.

  
  


Diamond's future self had been killed, but his past self still existed. He came back to the future, and met Usagi.

  
  


They became friends, and decided to forget about their former kenka and stay friends.

  
  


They became more than friends.

  
  


Once Rei had caught them kissing, and they had to make up a big lie, and swore her to silence. She didn't tell anyone their affair was going on, but she still knew about it.

  
  


One night, they had just gone to a party, and were both a little drunk. They kissed goodbye at the door, but instead of waving goodbye, Usagi invited him in. It was after midnight, and everyone else was asleep.

  
  


Usagi and Diamond woke up that morning in Usagi's bed. They decided not mention it to anyone else, and make sure no one else knew. But Serenity found out. Of course she already knew, but (Ugh... time is so confusing!!!!!) Whatever.

  
  


Usagi, to prevent anything like this happening again, banished him and his brother, taking us to where the Black moon saga begins. Except the reason Diamond wanted Chibi-Usa was he wanted to see his daughter! They both knew she wasn't Mamoru's.

  
  


**End flashback**

  
  


Usagi sighed. Then she noticed Mamoru was gone, and the sun was setting.

  
  


"Oh my! I must have been flashback-ing so long that it's already nighttime! I'd better find some place to stay fro the night, as Mamoru's staying at our house!" She headed off down the road.

  
  


**

Diamond watched her, in a daze. Then he got a scathingly brilliant idea! (Ever seen 'The trouble with angels'?) He jumped out of the spaceship, and landed on his two feet, perfectly un-harmed, next to Usagi, thinking 'How did that happen?'

**

  
  


Usagi looked at Diamond and blushed and blushed and blushed until her face was completely red. "Uh... Diamond... um... long time no see!"

  
  


"Usagi-chan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." He gazed at her for a very long time.

  
  


"Is that all you're going to do, stare at me?" Usagi pouted. They hadn't seen each other for years, and this is all she gets (Ok- let's say she's pregnant, but only a few weeks, so she isn't fat- that makes no sense, since IT was a few years ago, but let's pretend, ok?)

  
  


"Usagi-chan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." He stopped gazing and gave her a staggering kiss. They stood together for a long time, with their tongues in each other's mouth, wrapping their arms around one another.

  
  


Mamoru watched from behind the safety of the bench. He was jealous. He decided to go home. That is the end of Mamoru for this chapter.

  
  


After they finally stopped necking (Without taking a breath o_O) Usagi gazed at him. "Diamond-sama. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." He frowned. "Who's gazing now?"

  
  


"I'm sorry, Diamond-sama. . . . . . . . . . . ." "STOP!" "OK!"

  
  


***

  
  


Usagi felt a little guilty staying with Diamond. Going to first base with Diamond. And second. And third. And, well, she always was a good baseball player *wink wink* *nudge nudge*

  
  


Maybe a LITTLE guilty. Not much.

  
  


But it was still a little. She had to do something. She couldn't talk to Diamond, so she decided to do the next best thing.

  
  


Usagi flipped through the newspaper, until she found it. "Ah! Here it is!" She scribbled down the address on an envelop, and wrote on a piece of paper:

  
  


Dear Ann Landers:

I am a young girl who has just broken up with my husband. I am pregnant to another man, and am currently staying with him. I don't know which one I like more, but I kinda like both. What should I do?

-Sweetiehotgalbootyliciousbadassmoonchick5503

  
  


Usagi sealed the envelope and mailed it.

  
  


The next day in the newspaper, there was a letter from a certain 'Sweetiehotgalbootyliciousbadassmoonchick5503' in Ann Landers. She had replied:

  
  


Dear Sweetiehotgalbootyliciousbadassmoonchick5503-

Marry the cuter one. Get money from the other.

  
  


"That's a good idea!"

  
  


Usagi decided to do just that.

  
  


*********************

  
  


Was it funny? Was it unexpected? Was it romantic? Review and tell me what YOU think!


	24. Coffee can do that to you

UM24

  
  


Thank you for all your good reviews! This is the second to last chapter! Review for a sequel!

  
  


**Oh, yeah. . . all you flamers, I have a message for you. Everyone else skip this.

First, I am not going to stop writing. If you don't like a story by me, just don't read it. You don't have to flame me and tell me my writing is crap. It isn't, but you are.

Nene

Nickea  
PiMpStReZz PiNaI  
marmoth 

Reviewing anonymously is just stupid. You could all be the same person, for all I know. I'm not going to even bother to delete your reviews, since I don't pay attention to insults. I've been called every dirty word, vulgar insult, and things that I wouldn't mention in a PG-13 fic. They don't hurt me. So don't try. If you would sign your reviews I would like to discuss with you why you don't like or understand my stories, and maybe just recommend some other authors for you to read, but if you don't like a story, don't review it.

And if you must criticize my writing, do it in a well constructed, signed review which clearly states what you do not like. That way I can make it better.**

  
  


***********************

  
  


Coffee can do that to you. . .

  
  


***********************

  
  


Usagi drank her morning coffee, then went in to read the paper with a cup of coffee. Diamond finally woke up (I wonder WHAT tired him OUT *wink wink* *nudge nudge*) Usagi made a cup of coffee for him, then had another cup for herself. She poured out another while watching 'Ranma ½' on TV (Don't we wish!*tears*) She finally realized that Ranma ½ isn't on TV (And never will be.*tears*) and the Diamond had woken up and that she had just ingested cups of coffee.

  
  


She also realized that two gigantic yellow things were standing straight up on top of her head. "Oh my! My hair is standing straight up! How did that happen?" She patted it, and it stayed up. "Oh well!" She walked into the kitchen, where Diamond was sitting. To her caffeine-distorted eyes it looked like there were eight of him.

  
  


"Hello, Diamond-sama!" She gave a big hug to the plant next to him. "Is that a new hair gel?"

  
  


"Uh. . . Usagi... that's a plant. . ."

  
  


"Sorry, Diamond-sama!" Usagi planted a big kiss on the microwave across the room!

  
  


"Usagi! How many cups of coffee did you have?!"

  
  


"Just a few. . . say Diamond. . . you're kind of hard this morning. . . are you just really horny or some. . ."

  
  


"THAT'S A MICROWAVE! I AM NOT HARD! YOU HAVE A CAFFEINATED (And thoroughly dirty) MIND!"

  
  


"Darn. . ." Usagi remembered the paper. She wandered over to the oven. "Hey, Diamond, can I ask you something?"

  
  


"If you turn around and look at me instead of the oven, yes. . ."

  
  


"Oh! I was wondering why you were so hot! This early in the morning too. . ."

  
  


"IS THAT ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT?!" Diamond screamed, embarrassed.

  
  


"It's a good thing it is, because now I can follow your voice to see where you are!" Her straight-up hair bonked into the ceiling, and she fell down. "Ow!"

  
  


"Well, Diamond... I'd like to look and see, (But I can't) are you cuter than Mamoru?"

  
  


Diamond blushed, and (He is so full of himself) said "Of course I am! I must be the most attractive man ever! I am so cool! Why do you ask?"

  
  


"I dunno. . . I forgot. . ." She wobbled over to the coffee maker with foot-wide eyes "Meanwhile, I'll have another cup of coffee!"

  
  


"Oh, no you don't. You've had enough. One more cup and I'm going to kick you out of my house. . . sorry. . . spaceship!" 

  
  


****

  
  


Usagi thought it was a very long fall, from Diamond's spaceship to the ground, but she couldn't tell, since she had just downed five cups of coffee. She was still jittery, so she decided to head to the nearest Starbucks and get another! But her good judgement stopped her.

  
  


"I, Tsukino Usagi, am going to use self control for the first time in my life, and am NOT going to have another cup of coffee today!"

  
  


For the first time in her life, she was jittery for the rest of the day.

  
  


By nighttime it had finally worn off (Good! Who would've wanted her to stay up all night?) And she headed down the street, looking for a place to stay the night. She had the 50000 dollars Diamond had given her (Re-read the Ann Landers thing) so she could afford a good hotel.

  
  


Suddenly she had a brilliant idea. She raced down the street, towards her old house. A homeless person on the street said to her "Penny for the homeless?" Usagi hurriedly threw the person the 50000 dollars. The homeless person stared at her with wide eyes.

  
  


Mamoru looked out the window. "Well, at least I know what happened, since Usagi dictated her flashback to me, so we can avoid a heart wrenching confrontation. . ." he sighed. "Maybe I just wasn't good enough for her. I knew I should've taken those Kama Sutra classes. . ." Just the Usagi walked up the driveway. Mamoru looked out at her from the balcony. She called up to him

  
  


"Yo g! Wassup in da hood?"

  
  


"Usa- what the #$^&?!"

  
  


"Just kidding!" Usagi called up again "Can I come in?"

  
  


"No. You've been unfaithful to me and I never want to see you again!"

  
  


"Mamoru. . ." She glared at him. "Do you think I'm that stupid? I never noticed your little 'visits to the inner Senshi's houses? Or your little 'overnights' at Minako's? Or staying at Rei's for the last few weeks?" Mamoru blushed "OK, so I haven't really been faithful to you either. . . but at least I'm not pregnant!" "How COULD you be pregnant?!" ^ ^; .............................

  
  


"Whatever, Usagi. . . just. . . leave, ok?" Usagi pouted. "Why, Mamoru?" "Because I said so!"

  
  


"Hey, Mamoru. . . can I ask you something?" Mamoru sighed. "I suppose so."

  
  


"Well, are you cuter than Diamond? I would see for myself, but I was high on caffeine. . ." Usagi looked questioningly at him.

  
  


"Um. . . well. . . YEAH! A HUNDRED TIMES MORE ATTRACTIVE! Why do you ask?" he said rather quickly.

  
  


"Thank you for telling me! Now, lets apologize and put the past behind us!" Usagi smiled warmly.

  
  


Mamoru thought 'What the heck? Why is she being nice all of a sudden?'

  
  


Usagi knew in her mind now 'He's the one!'

  
  


**********

  
  


Now, review if you liked it, or if you want something different. This is the second to last chapter, so if you want a sequel, tell me!

  
  


Flamers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.


	25. Tying the knots

UM25

  
  


*LAST CHAPTER* Review for sequel!

  
  


Sorry for delay. I have worked very hard to make this a great final chapter. For the sequel, I am thinking one of the following topics, tell me which one you like most:

  
  


1) How Usagi met Diamond

2) How Neo-Chibi-Usa grows up without a father

  
  


I hope you like this final chapter, please review if you do! I'm looking for a 1/3 ratio to chapters for reviews (For those mathematically challenged [like me] that's 75 reviews)

  
  


*************

  
  


Tying the knots

  
  


*************

  
  


Mamoru stared at Usagi, who spoke. "Mamoru, I've made a decision." she paused "As much as we've fought over the last few weeks, and all the bad things that have come up, can we just forget it all and be a good couple again?"

  
  


"Wha... What the heck? Why are you saying this all of a sudden? We... We've been through so much trouble, and you just want us.... I mean... me to put it all behind and... continue on our destiny?!"

  
  


"Well... yeah. I know it's sort of awkward, but I've decided that you're the only one I love. Diamond... he was nice... but I really love you much more." She took his hand in hers. "Can we make up and... well... I know this is asking a little much of you... but..." She looked down. "I understand if you think I'm just a desperate little girl who can't even stay with a decent guy... but..."

  
  


"Usagi! I didn't mean that! I just said that because I was angry with you, and just took that anger out on you! I'm sorry!" He realized how stupid he sounded, and blushed. "Usagi... I apologize for that. I wish... things had worked out differently. I'm sorry."

  
  


Usagi put her arms around him. "I'm sorry too, Mamoru. This is all my fault." Tears came to her eyes. "No it's not, Usako. It's mine. I still love you." She looked up lovingly at him. "I love you too, Mamo-chan!"

  
  


He smiled at her. "Does this mean we can go back to being happily married?" Usagi nodded cheerfully. "And raise Chibi-Usa together?"

  
  


Usagi looked down. "Mamo-chan... I... I..." He put his hand around her. "It's ok, Usako. I understand." Usagi looked at him queerly. "You understand I want to have an abortion?!" Mamoru fainted. "JUST KIDDING!! Hey, Mamo-chan, are you awake?"

  
  


********

  
  


Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten sat together in their apartment. "So... since we're girls... we're going to stop seeing girls, and start dating boys." Seiya repeated what they had finally agreed on. "Oh well, it's all for the best. (Omigod, the three lights- STRAIGHT! How weird...____)

  
  


********

  
  


Diamond watched Usagi from his spaceship (He seems to do that a lot) "Farewell, Usagi-chan... we will probably never meet again..." he pressed the time-travel button to the future. "I have some work to do." as he left that time forever.

  
  


*********

  
  


Serenity had gotten back to the future, and walked into her bedroom, relaxing on her bed from the tiring journey. "Finally! Now I know what to do! I will make up with Endymion!" She went around the castle, calling "Endymion! Endymion?!" He was no where to be found. "That's peculiar... wonder where he could be..."

  
  


Venus walked up to Serenity. "Are you alright, Serenity? Do you need anything?" Serenity asked her "I'm looking for Endymion. Have you seen him?" "No, I haven't. Let's ask Pluto." she realized that Pluto had left right after she had transported Serenity to the future again.

  
  


Pluto was standing by the front gate. She was leaning against the wall, with tears in her eyes. Serenity and Venus walked up to her. "Pluto, what's wrong?" Serenity asked softly. Pluto gasped. "You haven't heard yet?!" Serenity shook her head. "Heard what?" Pluto sighed. "Come with me.

  
  


The three of the walked for a little bit, until they came to the edge of the garden wall, where a huge crowd of people were gathered. Most of them had tears in their eyes. A hundred feet below the fence was a little stream, flowing clear water. Serenity used to love to look at the cool, crisp water so far down below.

  
  


Now the water was a reddish color. Serenity, Venus, and Pluto pushed up to the front of the front so they could see. People stared at her, and the noisy crowd instantly quieted down, and backed away to make a path for them to walk through to the front. There were a bunch of news cameras and reporters.

  
  


Several of the Senshi were up there crying. A huge gap in the fence, which seemed to have been broken off by something had been marked off by caution tape. Serenity began to panic "Alright, what happened here?! What happened?! Someone tell me, now!!!"

  
  


Mars, Mercury, and Jupiter were there, looking like someone had died. Mars walked up to Serenity, and gently put an arm around her. "Serenity... I don't know how to tell you this... but..." Jupiter and Mercury rose, Pluto took her hand. They looked very sympathetically at her. "Stop it!! You're freaking me out! Just tell me what happened!!!! What?!?!"

  
  


Mars said very gently and cautiously. "Serenity... Usagi-chan... its... Endymion...." Serenity gasped. Suddenly it all made sense- the red water, the missing Endymion, the cracked railing, the crowds of crying people. Jupiter said softly "We found his body down there. The police think it was suicide." Serenity shook her head violently, tears already falling. "No! No... That can't... it can't..."

  
  


She wanted to run away, to make it not true, but she stayed rooted to the spot where she stood. It couldn't be true. He couldn't be dead. Serenity's eyes went wide as her mind accepted it as the truth. He was dead, gone forever. She started scream "No!!!! No, Endymion!!!! YOU CAN'T BE DEAD!!!!!!!"

  
  


She started to run, fast, faster, away from the crowd, away from the Senshi trying to stop her, trying to talk to her. Serenity ran until she could run no more. She collapsed on the ground, breathing hard, sobbing. She whispered slowly "Endymion... why did you do it...? Couldn't you... didn't you love me? Why did you leave me here, alone?" Serenity put her head in her hands, and hugged her legs to her chest.

  
  


Chibi-Usa saw her mother sitting on the ground. She went up to her, oblivious to everything that had just happened. "Mommy... are you alright?" Serenity looked at her daughter, sadly. She stroked her hair, and whispered "No... not at all... but you shouldn't worry about it." Chibi Usa looked quizzically at her. "Why not?"

  
  


Serenity realized that this child would be growing up without the man she had called 'daddy' for the last few years, and had known as her father. She wouldn't understand if she told her everything now. Maybe when she was older, she could understand it all. "Something happened to your daddy, but I'll talk to you about it later. Let's go inside now!" trying to cheer her daughter up, the two of them walked inside.

  
  


Despite the happy smile on Chibi-Usa's face, and the promise of a bright future, Serenity still felt cold inside, for Endymion's suicide, for lying to her daughter, for acting so immature and messing everything up.

  
  


Later that night she stood on the balcony which looked over the garden wall, still caution taped off. Tears flooded her cheeks. "Endymion... I love you... I'll miss you... goodbye." Serenity said a finally goodbye to Endymion as she walked away form him, putting a wall between him and her, and vowed to go on with her life. She crept into her bed, now to big for just herself, and went to sleep.

  
  


**

  
  


Far above her, Diamond watched from his space ship (How often does he do that?) "Serenity... I'm sorry to hurt you... but it had to be done, for love." He didn't regret pushing Endymion off the balcony. He wasn't good enough for Serenity, anyway.

  
  


**

  
  


Usagi lay in bed, next to Mamoru. A cool breeze blew into the room, through the window. She stirred, but then went back to her happy sleep, unaware of the inevitable troubles written for her in the future.

  
  


She didn't know about them.

  
  


But someone else did.

  
  


Someone had known about them for a very long time.

  
  


And that someone watched Serenity's sorrow, and Usagi's happiness, and made a decision.

  
  


"She isn't going to live for much longer"

  
  


****************

  
  


I thought I would leave no more cliff hangers, but I did! I will answer that one in the sequel, which there will probably be.

  
  


So, that's it! The entire 25 chapter story, finished, finally! I am so relieved! I think I'm going to put the sequel off until after summer, or I may not. Please tell me how you liked it or not, and if you have any questions, I'd love to answer them.

  
  


It takes courage and will power to review. Not all of you have that, so I'm going to make it easy for you. If you want to review, but are too lazy to write a real one, copy one of the texts below which corresponds to your opinion!

  
  


1) It was great! I loved it! Please write a sequel soon! It is so cool!

  
  


2) Nice story. Keep up the good work! I'd like a sequel to this!

  
  


3) Pretty good. I would suggest [insert comment here] in a sequel.

  
  


4) I didn't really like/understand [insert question here] Try to explain it more in a sequel.

  
  


5) Not my kind of story. I'm reviewing because I'm a nasty smelly bag of crap who loves to flame people and make fun of stories because I'm too dumb to write my own or do something decent with my time.

  
  


Please, I need your reviews! Tell me what I should do in a sequel to this! (I lied. There is going to be one, but I may put it off until summer's over)


End file.
